Here's a story to share... a zen story with a good message.

It's a tale by award winning author/artist Jon J. Muth in this book, Zen Shorts, one of his many.

There are three beautifully illustrated stories in the book which was on The New York Times bestseller list for 41 months. This story, A Heavy Load, tells of two traveling monks who come across a young woman carried in a sedan chair. It makes my point.

"The rains had made deep puddles and she couldn't step across without spoiling her silken robes. She stood there, looking very cross and impatient. She was scolding her attendants. They had nowhere to place the packages they held for her, so they couldn't help her across the puddle.

"The younger monk noticed the woman, said nothing, and walked by. The older monk quickly picked her up and put her on his back, transported her across the water, and put her down on the other side. She didn't thank the older monk, she just shoved him out of the way and departed.

"As they continued on their way, the young monk was brooding and preoccupied. After several hours, unable to hold his silence, he spoke out. 'That woman back there was very selfish and rude, but you picked her up on your back and carried her! Then she didn't even thank you!'

"I set the woman down hours ago," the older monk replied. "Why are you still carrying her?"

That's Zen for you... whatever that is.

FYI insert: Zen is essentially a state of being at peace with your own thoughts, and being self-aware of your place in the universe, inconsequential (and simultaneously essential). After all, Buddha is not considered a god but the belief is that he achieved ultimate enlightenment through the process of zen meditation.  www.scienceabe.com >humans >what-is-the-concept-of-zen 

And yes, I work on mindfulness and do yoga but to rate my skill, if this were martial arts, my belt color would be toilet-paper white. But it is a rewarding mentality at any level. More of that here.

So here is the point: In today's world, conflict, angst and anger dominate the news and our lives it seems. That is so stressful, it hurts. Stress is really is not healthy for your body or mind. The most direct way to a better you is simple in definition--don't let things get to you--but so hard in practice and downright impossible, it seems at times. Well, that's why starting small is the only way to go. Even God didn't create the world in a day.

Stress is a one-way street. We carry so much on our shoulders that starts with conflict, angst and anger.

Here's another short story, one I know personally. I grew up living next to my maternal grandparents... Italian immigrants, wonderful people. My grandmother loved to shop, but never a driver, she took a streetcar (yes, it ran on rails) downtown at least once a week. Coming home at dusk one evening, she stepped off the streetcar and was hit by a driver not paying attention. She was hospitalized for a week or more to repair broken bones, but even after those healed, she was never the same. She died about six months later. I don't know what happened to the driver who hit her but it makes no difference. The damage was done.

My mother carried hate and contempt for the individual a long time after. She talked about it even to us kids. It seemed to eat her alive. Then, one day after talking with a friend, she had a revelation. She forgave the driver. She actually told us she forgave him, and from that moment on, my mom was herself again. The tension seemed to leave her body and she could laugh and enjoy life once more. We all saw it and marveled.

That is not an easy thing to do. It may even involve counseling or any other third party to 'turn the switch,' but the lesson learned is worth every effort. Depending on the severity of the issue, the memory of what happened will never leave but your reaction to it is remarkably healthier for you and all who love you.

So she stopped hating. Thank God.

The moral of both stories is that carrying contempt forward affects only one person... the person who carries contempt forward. The despised person has no idea nor does he/she care, one way or another.

One of the core values of zen (or mindfulness) is understanding yourself from a different mental perspective and practicing how you get there. If you click my link above or here  I'll tell you about an interesting, easy read book by ABC newsman Dan Harris called "10 % Happier" that made it simple for me to understand and take my first willing steps even if I wasn't sure I wanted to. What I liked most about this book is that Harris talks of his concerns and some skepticism about meditation/mindfulness up front and takes you through discovery and his proof. It was a really interesting down-to-earth read for people like me... and maybe you.
  

As the Dalai Lama said to the hot dog vender...

Make me one, with every- thing.

Zen jokes just don't have the great punch line, but hey, anything is better than meditation, right?

Actually, wrong. The more I read, the more I believe that mindfulness--or by any name you put to it--is proving its value.
 
If Apple and General Mills and Google and Nike and Proctor&Gamble and HBO and Aetna and Target and Deutsche Bank and Yahoo and even lawyers and the United States Marines, for God's sake, believe the simplicity of the exercise and the enormity of the benefit makes it a "no-brainer."

Just the thought of something that goes back to Buddha with a mysterious 'aura' is, in itself, "off-putting" to many. Meditation, or mindfulness--a richer name because it describes the benefit--is not a religion or a cult or some weird Tibetan thing that steals your mind. In fact, it gives you more of what is good in you.

I just read 10% Happier by New York Times Bestseller author, Dan Harris and I am so impressed. The book's subtitle better defines its benefit:  How I tamed the voice in my head, reduced stress without losing my edge, and found self-help that actually works -- A TRUE STORY

It resonated because Harris, an ABC co-anchor of Nightline and the weekend editions of Good Morning America as well as numerous other assignments, tells the story of his journey... from need to discovery, disbelief, finding, experiencing and putting it all in his understandable path to a richer benefit in his life than he imagined possible. Harris as a good news person, had access to many of the people we only read about. He asks most of the questions we would want to ask. Then he recaps with thoughts, insights and frequently asked questions.

"What I found blew my mind. Meditation, once part of the counterculture, had now fully entered the scientific mainstream. It had been subjected to thousands of studies, suggesting an almost laughably long list of health benefits, including salutary effects on the following:

• major depression
• drug addiction
• binge eating
• smoking cessation
• stress among cancer patients
• loneliness among senior itizens
• ADHD
• asthma
• psoriasis
• irritable bowel syndrome

Studies also indicated that mediation reduced levels of stress hormones, boosted the immune system, made office workers more focused and improved test scores on the GRE. Apparently mindfulness did everything short of making you able to talk to animals and bend spoons with your mind.

"In a nutshell," He says," mindfulness is the ability to recognize what is happening in your mind right now--anger, jealousy, sadness, the pain of a stubbed toe, whatever--without getting carried away by it." 

Now here is the best part: It is easy to see for yourself with no hard wired process required. You can do it in your own home (and not tell anyone... just in case) or as part of a group. The cost, if any, is modest. You can 'put your toe in the water' and go from there if you choose.

Best tip I can offer: Get this book for an understandable approach to the whole thing. It will answer most questions in an pleasant to read presentation. There are, of course, many other options in books, on line and in groups and classes.

As for me, I'm sold. I just won't even try that cross-legged thing and that's just fine.

As the Dalai Lama says, "IF YOU want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."