Did you get your stimulus check yet?

Neither has Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg.

But seriously, here is how it works for the poorer rest of us (with the realization that some are much, much poorer than we are, and that IS an honest concern).

This example is a fun poser that has been around for a long time as you can tell by the way it is written. There is, however, a hiccup in 'the way it works' for us which I will explain.

A tourist drives into a town, stops at a motel and lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he/she wants to inspect the rooms upstairs before picking one for the night.

As soon as the tourist walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the $100 and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.

The butcher takes the $100 bill and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.

The pig farmer takes that same $100 and heads off the pay his bill to the feed supplier at the co-op.

The feed supplier takes the $100 and runs to pay what he owes to the local hooker, who is dealing with the same economy as every one else and has been offering her services on credit.

The hooker rushes to the motel and pays off her $100 room bill.

The motel owner then places the $100 bill back on the counter and waits for the tourist to come bak from checking out the rooms.

Just then the tourist comes down the stairs, says the rooms are not satisfactory, picks up his $100 bill and leaves.

No one produced anything. No one earned anything.

 However, the whole town is now out of debt and can look to the future with a lot more optimism.

And that, my friends, is how a stimulus package works. 

Sounds strangely right, doesn't it? 

Actually, it is right as shown. Since each owed the other the same amount, those debts are paid off by reason that all are cancelled in a tacit mutual action. 

Well, we are not in that same economy (i.e. a perfect world) because we have a very large and rapidly growing national debt. We are aggressively spending more than we take in and every dollar has an actual price-tag to it. 

Our national debt was zero in 1935. Our last balanced budget was under Bill Clinton in 1998. The national debt was $5.5 trillion then. Our current national debt has grown since then to $24 trillion today, or $74,000 per person.

And, according to the non partisan Congressional Budget Office, that debt is increasing by about $1 trillion per year, mostly thanks to Trump's tax cut which was supposed to pay for itself but isn't. The national debt is expected to exceed $31 trillion by 2030. That is about 98 percent of the forecast size of the economy at that time.

 Side note: most of us in the middle received a very modest tax cut or increase--my taxes increased--while the very wealthy did just fine, thank you... like in "How do you like my new yacht?" Really!

And don't say "It's just a trillion dollars." It would take you 70 million hours, 24/7... or 291,666,666,666.67 days with no sleeping or eating breaks, to count out those dollars. IT'S A TRILLION DOLLARS... and it is our and our children's debt that actually does cost us interest every second of every day. 

And all this is before the $3 to $4 trillion in stimulus dollars we are spending now on this pandemic. 

Want to see something that will make your head spin?  Here is our national debt clock which is filled with second by second updates of all this vital data. It is fascinating with so much information. Check it out.

See? I told you so.

The moral of this story? As a country, we are Number 1 in many areas... not all of them good. But first, let's get back on our feet and go forward smartly. We ABSOLUTELY have to have a leader to take us there. Are you ready? Be sure to vote in November. It will be the most important election in our time.

"All men are created equal... " Do you believe that?

Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson, our third president, is known as the Founding Father of the United States and is most famous for writing our Declaration of Independence.

The second paragraph of that Declaration reads "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator of certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness." 

We, as a country, believe that. Do you, as an individual, believe that?

Careful how you answer or you may find yourself on the wrong side of the United States of America.


Here's a test for you:

Chris Rock

Comedian Chris Rock is a funny man. Much of his humor touches on the divide between you, the listener, and him.

• Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white y'know.
• Every town has two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.
• I live in a neighborhood that is so bad, you can get shot while getting shot.
• I was bussed to a school in Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn in 1972. I was one of the first black kids in the history of the school.
• Being with my kids is the best, most fun thing; it's a privilege.
• America is the greatest country in the whole world.

So, not that different from any white one of us, except the black part, right?

But there is a marked difference in the Life, Liberty and Pursuit of Happiness of black and of white. (Latinos, Asians, etc., you know what I'm talking about.)

To make a point, Rock also said in front of an audience, "There isn't a white man in America who would trade places with me. And I'm rich."

As one white man later responded: "The only possible reason would be greed, and you would soon come to realize you made a catastrophic decision as soon as you got pulled over on a questionable traffic violation.

I guess that proves a point. The Declaration of the United States of America and its "self-evident truths... " only counts some of the time, depending on where your perspective lies.

That part about "the right to bear arms" though, that counts every second.

Equal is not an elastic word. It is very specific. The truth is, we are lacking in equal, both in fact and opinion. Democracy and morality can not exist in such a world.

I have walked the streets of Nairobi, Kenya in a group of six as part of a two-day stay. There we found ourselves the only white faces in a busy city that might seem like part of old Manhattan if you squinted. The streets were filled with black faces talking, laughing and speaking in english, a primary conversational language there. It is an interesting perspective when situations are reversed. You should try it sometime.

Maybe Lincoln said it best: "A house divided against itself cannot stand." We are either one or we are nothing. Choose!

Wonder if the world disappeared and only a few were left? I was there for two days and, short term, it is incredibly and unbelievably sweet.

If we are all wiped out by the next coronavirus, or the ones sure to follow, and you are one of just a few left,  what would that be like? Picture being left behind at "The Rapture" or Steven King's "The Stand" with a touch of "Deliverance" (without the banjoes), but not really. What's it like for those left behind?

Well, short term, I can tell you, it was an incredible eye-opener. And better yet, unlike the three examples above, it was a wonderful experience without any Twilight Zone 'twist of irony' at the end. And best of all, I didn't drown. Read the story of how it actually came about and stay to the end for the gist of it all.

It happened about 20 years ago when my son and daughter-in-law invited my wife and I (and reluctantly, our beautiful 100 pound chocolate lab) on a two-day canoe adventure on Georgia's Chattahoochee River as it runs through the beautiful, wild Chattahoochee National Forest. (FYI, this is the actual filming site of the movie Deliverance, so you know it is beautiful... and solemnly daunting).

Alix

We had our own canoe, the two of us AND Alix. There were three other canoes with friends.We divided the tents, food, drink and other needs among us.

We had the wine and the dog. What could possibly go wrong?

After positioning one car at our anticipated arrival spot some miles downstream, we drove north and put in about 30 miles upriver, anticipating that first beautiful day with a plan for a nice, natural campsite, good meal and good company that evening.

It kinda worked that way... but as we assessed our load, we were the heaviest (wine weighs a lot) and our canoe sat mere inches above the waterline. Thinking dogs don't count if they aren't human, we were off, with us the forgotten last.

The river was a modest 1 or maybe 2 by Olympic standards, no problem for us tried and tested non swimming crews. (Well, I was non swimming, our dog didn't like the idea and my wife was comfortable in her thoughts that God will always take care of fools.)

About 15 minutes downstream, all 100 pounds of Alix changed position and we were in five feet of roughish water in about 2 seconds. I hit my head on a floating log, bobbing frantically as if 'we' (meaning me) were going to drown.  When that didn't happen, I realized I had lost my glasses and gained a sizable lump on my forehead to show for it. My wife was safe and Alix was already on the shore vowing never again to get in a canoe. The wine was nowhere to be seen or felt as we searched mightily hoping against hope it would come to the surface.

In just those short minutes of a real time Tom Sawyer adventure, we were wet and wine-less. So, with Alix never at rest again, on we damply went and the fun commenced.

About half an hour later, out leading canoeists noticed more of our flotsam drifting past them downstream. After reversing course to fish us out once more, they put us first, kind of like Lewis and Clark putting the most 'bear delicious' people at the head, just in case.

As I recall, there were three more capsizes that day, us, us and us.

Just when we started to get the hang of it and began drying out, our group decided we had found our idyllic stop spot for the night.

Only one problem... we had to transverse a squeezed-in river passage with the water gushing through. I don't have to tell you, we didn't make it. Worse yet, we were standing in fast-moving waist-deep water as if God had flushed the toilet. With the help of the strongest in our group, we formed a human chain and crossed Niagara. Sopped again, we were eventually glad to be on dry land. Dog Alix was so ecstatic that she immediately pooped the biggest poop any of us had ever seen (to this very day) and backed as far away from the water's edge as she could. What a smart dog.

Aground at last and examining our campsite, we found no trace of humankind before us. Not a scrap of paper, remnants of a prior bonfire, old beer cans, etc... so we quickly stuck our flag in the ground and claimed it for the United States of America, hoping to name it after one of us. I visioned "Jerryland, USA" but the party invoked a little known paragraph in The Constitution: "No newly discovered land shall be in the name of someone who cannot swim, ergo, is a real 'pain' near water.

After a delicious but alcohol-free dinner and a warm fire with a magnificent moon above, every ghost tale seemed to sound like I was in it. We slept that evening in a wet tent set on a wet tarp, in wet clothes with a smelling, cuddling wet dog. I slept like the log that banged my forehead.

In the bright, fresh late summer morning, we breakfasted and made ready for a six hour canoe ride to our waiting car. It took three of us to get Alix back into that canoe again. The only human trace we left behind were her frantic claw marks in the ground. Maybe next group will believe a Tyrannosaurus Rex slept here.

It was a remarkably beautiful, dry peddle to our take-out point, recognized as just around the bend by the chatter of several families having fun on the river and beach.

Once ashore we were shocked to see our waiting car had been broken-into with everything inside gone and, as the piece de resistance, the battery too. Welcome back from Camelot. When two officers arrived to register our burgled pain, I swear that the officers could have stepped from any scene in Smokey and the Bandits. After a lot of "Yes Sirs" and "No Sirs" the heavyweight Jackie Gleason look-alike with a neatly pleated and remarkably unwrinkled uniform and hard-formed police stetson said, in effect, "Too bad suckers. Let that be a lesson to you." He stopped a passing pick-up truck and ordered the rough-looking driver with a cigarette dangling from his mouth and his menacing passenger to take two of us to the car we left 30 miles upriver.

Last we saw of the pick-up was a rocky spin of gravel and dust as the pair angrily sped down the gravel road with my son and friend hanging on for dear life in the truck bed. We hoped and prayed we would soon see them alive again and were rewarded when, about an hour later, our two came driving back.

Now here is the gist of this whole story: Thinking back from the moment we put in 36 hours before to our take out and broken-into car, we saw no evidence of any living soul, heard no sound other than Mother Nature's and our own screams, laughs, stories and lies. We didn't see electrical wires, planes overhead or anything related to humankind... no phones, no sinister sound of banjos or human noise... none, nada, zilch. It was just us... just us for two very rich days when the world kindly disappeared for us.

It was a magnificent trip with tales to tell and joys to go around. It was as if no outer world existed for us from start to finish. It was quite majestic for the short while. It was a reflective, rich time for us humans. You'll have to ask Alix for her thoughts though.

With 300 miles to home, we stopped at the first gas station that looked as if the bathrooms would rate at least 2 stars (Wrong. There are none of those.) There we peeled off our sand-infested clothes and threw the shoes away before getting into something clean and dry. We were in heaven again.

So that's what being the only people alive must feel like, even for just two days, with a realization that two days is not a lifetime. Isolation in the time of a coronavirus however, is not the same at all.

Added Related Bonus Feature: It takes two to tango but how many to repopulate the earth? The answer may surprise you.

Stay well friends.

  

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, step right up, STEP RIGHT UP! Everyone's a winner! Bargains galore... "

So you think carnivals are so... out these days. 

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

As #Darwin showed, we have evolved!

Today's carnival is now something we call television and it gets our attention just fine, thank you. The "tease," as the Carnival Barker would say (i.e. the sales pitch) is the program you are watching. And you, dear tv watcher, would be called a "mark" (i.e. patsy) or a "lugen" (really dumb mark) or even a less flattering, "mooch" or "chump" (too embarrassing to define).

So "Mark," ever wonder how many commercials you sit through, time after repeated time, as a simple nuisance for enjoying (?) your favorite show. You wouldn't believe it.

I was watching Good Morning America a few days ago and for fun (and disappointment at myself for dumbly watching every commercial I had already seen a dozen times) I decided to count how lucky I was to get "the pitch." The first part of the show, mostly the good stuff, is without major interruptions for a while, lest they exceed my attention span. But if they 'gotcha,' you have to pay the piper.

How many commercials do you think I was lucky enough to see over the last 41 minutes of the program. Maybe 15, 20, 30? How many? I was curious so I counted. But first, a word from our sponsors.................... (yawn).

Here's the actual commercials list, interspaced with bits of the show so it seems like it was one continual fun fest:

• The New York Times
• Verizon
• Lincoln Automobiles
• Papa Johns
• Flonase
• Neutrogenia
• Seresto
• Fabreze
• Boost
• BlueRay
• Stanley Steemer
• Liberty Mutual
• ABC Local Station Promo

interrupted by local news, weather and traffic

• Weather Master (local)
• Toyota Dealership (local)
• Mark Spain Real Estate (local)
• Clegg's Pest Control (local)
• Weather Master (local repeat)
• Hendrick Automotive (local)
• Door Dash/Uber Eats
• Jersey Mikes
• Folgers
• Pampers

station break

• Tractor Supply Company
• Eastern Carolina University
• Honey's Suckle
• Otezla
• Blue Wilderness Pet Food
• Lincoln Financial
• Walmart
• Lane & Associates Dentistry (local)
• Mark Spain Real Estate (local/repeat)
• Who Wants to be a Millionaire 

Interrupted by local news, weather and traffic

• Michael Jordan Auto (local)
• ABC Virtual Food Drive (local)
• Whitney Law Firm (local)
• Food Lion (local)
• Garner Appliances (local)

... And on to the second hour of GMA.

If you were counting, that is 60 commercials from the 18 minute mark of the hour to the 60 minute mark.. a total of 60 commercials in 42 minutes. Pretty impressive, right? And I watched them all.

How many did you guess at first? Bet it wasn't 60. And of course, this pattern repeated in the second hour of the show. And it continues plus/minus through the day. The overnight hours are special as they try to fit in even more because who can stop watching an old 2 hour movie that takes 3 hours of sleep to watch?

This is the greater Raleigh. NC market which is probably average, but If you find that hard to believe, do the count yourself. Didn't realize how smart you were, did you "Mark." Oh, sorry. I thought that was your name.

Now here's a poser: If you are watching cable TV or any other pay to view source, you will always experience rate bloat. As your loyalty continues, your monthly bill as a faithful customer continues to increase, sometimes with little teeny extra charges and sometimes in a big gulp. Consumer Reports says the typical cable customer pays $450 per year in company imposed fees... a 24% surcharge on top of advertised prices.

And the topper is that your cable company will give the best offer to the newest stooge... er customer while you,  loyal watcher, are paying a premium... for what?

Just call us lugens I guess.

If you think money doesn't talk, how many basketball arenas, baseball parks and football stadiums have names like Wrigley Field or Fenway Park anymore. Today they are most often Tropicana Field, Sun Trust Park, Coors Field, etc.

The secret "Yes, and... " trick... again! Yep, because you, housebound family, need it now!

Amy Poehler

Note to reader: This blog post is four-years -old and I could never imagine that today, we would be held prisoner in our own homes by some stupid scary coronaVirus. No fair!

But I thought you needed this.

When you get tired of coloring on your driveway with chalk or cooking something so exotic that doesn't measure up, what do you do? Admittedly, even a 1,000 piece puzzle eventually gets done--except for that last damn piece the dog ate.

After you've watched all the television you can stand and all games have been played, there is one, yes one, novel idea that could inspire all and maybe uncover a hidden talent in one or more youngsters and/or immature adults to unbalance them just enough to want to be a stand-up comedian, the poor souls.

So here's the game I call "Yes, and... " which I wrote about half-a-wise-guy's age ago. That's why you see Amy Poehler's picture which goes with the post. Hopefully, this sounds like a great idea for your group unless, sadly, you are missing a sense of humor or can't handle being laughed at.

Only one rule: You have to be a little crazy stupid or you can't play. Read on and give it a try at the supper table or when the television is off and the phones are shut down and everyone is looking bored and about ready to fall asleep.

It's then that you stand up, get everyone's attention and say: "Did you hear the hippopotamus at the zoo had a baby elephant?"

And someone says, "Yes and it looked just like the father."

And another says, "Yes and you should have seen the size of the cigars the father gave out."

And then, "Yes and when the doctor smacked the baby to get it to start breathing, she broke her wrist."

And the, "Yes and she can't pick her nose now." ... or something equally stupid to get a laugh.

Got the idea? Then GO!

See?

Don't you wonder where so many of our favorite comedians "cut their chops?" 

(Say Yes, and... )

Have you ever seen any of the improv comedy shows? That's where Amy Poehler and Tina Fey started... oh, and John Belushi and Steve Carell and Will Farrell and Seth Rogen and the incredibly talented Canadian group from SCTV who brought us "Waiting for Guffman" and "Best of Show" as well as Monty Python and a good number from improv theaters around the country who became SNL cast members... and on and on.

Tim Conway

How did Robin Williams and Tim Conway and Johnathan Winters learn to make people laugh? Ok, so it's talent... I'll give you that. Oh, and a rich sense of humor... oh, and timing and imagination and on and on... but I mean, how did they practice their trade when they didn't know all the secrets?

That's where improvisation comes in. The good ones are quick on their feet and ready to be ridiculous at the drop of a hat. And here's one of their secrets--a four-lane expressway to the next best line:

It's referred to as the "Yes, and..." trick, never to be confused with "Yes, but... "

"Yes, and... " continues a thought, no matter how ridiculous, with an addition to that line of thinking but even more ridiculous. Someone starts:

"I had an aunt who thought she was a chicken... " 

Then you say "Yes, and she had drumsticks to die for."

And he/she says "Yes and did you see those silly little claw-like shoes she had on?"

And you say, "Yes, and they were the talk of the San Francisco Fricase-Fried Chicken Festival in February."

"Yes and she was especially popular around Easter... for the eggs."

Etc., etc.        


Get the idea? It's Yes and... until you have told the story for laughs or gotten booed off the stage... Yes and if you're new to the concept, you will be booed off the stage. But you get the idea.

Oh, there's lots more to comedy of course, but this shows how to keep a story going... and it works at cocktail parties too, though it comes with inherent dangers. Says one who knows, "You find yourself in a place where you're, like, how did I get here?" But nonetheless, it is a positive transition to whatever happens next. It could even lead to the next improve technique, "If, then..." and next thing you know, you are on SNL...  or the life of the party, or people avoid you like the plague.

Yes, and there is an improv school for you if you really care. Comedian Amy Poehler was one of four who founded the Upright Citizens Brigade, a New York 'cultural reach' for comedy where you can take lessons until you are good or run out of money, whichever comes first. An alum of the process said it is especially good if "you want to take the slow train to crazytown."

Yes, and the process is proving so helpful in boosting self confidence that it is sought by business men and women. Being comfortable in any communicative process is greatly enhanced by the confidence that is built over knowing you can always 'Yes, and...' Such confidence, those 'Yes, and' folks say has a holistic side for maximum feel good benefit.

All that is all especially complimentary if you are a comedian who's fortune is built on the next funny line. It's what you do if you choose to "be in the club." It's hard not to appreciate the many who make us laugh. And doesn't the world need more of that?

Yes, and... wait til you see my next exciting blog post.

                                           

In today's coronavirus world, what is a life really worth? I think Monty Python answers that question better than anything I have ever heard.

So if you are too young (and shame on you) Monty Python may be something entirely unknown in your brief--anything less than maybe 55 years--life so far.

Since age now matters as to who gets the ventilator and who doesn't, the value of a human life is being quantified.

Here then is the ultimate determiner that any true Catholic will swear to. This explains why every life is of incredible value and one is no greater or less than any other.

Background: Monty Python was a British comedy legend most popular from 1969 through 1983... a cast of irreverent actors that was sometimes raw but typically funny in the way life sometimes is.  Their comedy is parody with a touch of satire thrown in so be ready or stop reading. (I know God has a sense of humor because just look around you every day. See?)

The group first showcased its zany take on humor in the British television series, Monty Python's Flying Circus and from there, made three largely popular movies, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Life of Brian and The Meaning of Life. (If you have no idea, then you must see at least one which will lead to wanting to see them all.) It was The Meaning of Life that featured in one of its segments, the song  "Every Sperm is Sacred." The movie received The British Academy of Film and Television award for Outstanding British Contribution to Cinema in 1988.

"Aha!" you say. "So that's your proof?" Would the Pope lie? As one born Catholic (though have moved on), of course. And to get the gist, here are the lyrics. If they intrigue you, you MUST see one of the best musical clips ever which I've saved for you at the end of this post... after I've made my case.

Every Sperm Is Sacred

Monty Python

There are Jews in the world

There are Buddhists

There are Hindus and Mormons, and then

There are those that follow Mohammed, but

I've never been one of them

I'm a Roman Catholic,

And have been since before I was born,

And the one thing they say about Catholics is:

They'll take you as soon as you're warm

You don't have to be a six-footer

You don't have to have a great brain

You don't have to have any clothes on You're

A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred

Every sperm is great

If a sperm is wasted,

God gets quite irate

Every sperm is sacred

Every sperm is great

If a sperm is wasted,

God gets quite irate

Let the heathen spill theirs

On the dusty ground

God shall make them pay for

Each sperm that can't be found

Every sperm is wanted

Every sperm is… 

Source: LyricFind

Now here's the point: Because we, the greatest, richest, smartest, best, etc. country in the world did not prepare for any pandemic (which we were assured by all those who know pandemics, that it/they will continue to happen) we were caught short... and worse, we didn't believe, for at least a month, that what was happening in China might, would, could be our problem... the world's problem.

Now we absolutely know we are perilously unprepared, low in both safety equipment for our heroes on the front lines tests (becaus we had to test,  test, test but had none) and ventilators to save those who would/will die of the disease if they are not available when needed... and we have been assured, they will not be available when needed.

This means that those in triage will have to make decisions on who will likely die and those which are more likely to survive. Our government put us in this position. Thanks a lot. May God be on triage shoulders as decisions are made. (Disclosure: If I am in that position as a patient, tell all my wife, children and grandchildren that I love them more than than I could ever express as a mere human... and that I have lived a wonderful life of joy and happiness with my loved and the world.) 

Note to self: Be sure to save that disclosure if this scenario proves false.

With unnecessary death facing many, there has been a public relations effort to monetize the value of a human life as one justification for who lives and who dies. Obviously age is a primary determiner in making a life or death decision but dollars of value of a human significantly cheapens the process. That's why it is imperative to recognize that every life is worthy and, as most believe, every sperm is sacred. Life is too precious to be a dollar value add-on by others.

And by the way, I believe age is a probable determiner in many situations where significant differences are a factor. Close calls, I can't imagine. 

It would be hypocritical to believe that if life is sacred in its beginning but expendable at its end without strongly supporting Roe vs. Wade, no matter what your personal belief. To think otherwise would cede de facto control of both life and death to the government. And this in a country that largely does not believe everyone deserves health care. Now that is hypocritical.

OK, that was fun. Now, as promised, I think you will enjoy this "Every Sperm is Sacred" clip from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life... and don't say you weren't cautioned.

Is it time to see "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" again... or for the first time?

Jimmy Stewart as Jefferson Smith

Recognize him? That's actor Jimmy Stewart who died in 1997. But you know him best as George Bailey of Bedford Falls in your Christmastime favorite, It's A Wonderful Life, filmed in 1946.

Here he is as Jefferson Smith, a naive man appointed to fill a vacancy in the United States Senate. The movie, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, dates to 1936.

As the synopsis of the movie is explained, "Naive and idealistic Jefferson Smith, leader of the Boy Rangers, is appointed on a lark by the spineless governor of his state. He is reunited with the state's senior senator--presidential hopeful and childhood hero, Senator Joseph Paine. In Washington, however, Smith discovers many of the shortcomings of the political process as his earnest goal of a national boys' camp leads to a conflict with the state political boss, Jim Taylor. Taylor first tries to corrupt Smith and then later attempts to destroy Smith through a scandal."

Of course it is high drama fiction, in b&w1936 style which is a treat in itself, but not so unrealistic to show the heart of a patriot fighting for a common good against a vested older congress that has other ideas.

Frank Capra directed both of these Jimmy Stewart movies and if you liked one, chances are, you will like the other. Watch Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, it is free here.

FYI: Re: our Congress, In my last blog post I said I have always taken to heart that the world belongs to the young to mold, change and evolve to become the better world destined to be theirs. We older and presumed wiser had our turn, but sometimes it seems, just don't know when to get out of the way. (Hmm... thinking term limits, but who among them would ever go for that?)

We do have some good things happening that did not exist back in Jefferson Smith's day--women, more diversity and young rising stars, but even with that, our leaders are growing older as a body. There is no one running for President on a major platform that is not on the other side of 70 and by the averages, some members are aging in place. 

The average age of our current Senate is 62.9 years, the oldest ever... and four are in their 80s with Dianne Feinstein and Chuck Grassley each 87. Even Popes are younger than that. The average age of our current Representative is 57.6 years. In 1981 the Senate average age was 61 (vs 62.9) and for Representatives it was 49 (vs 57.6). 

The average age of America is 20+ years younger than their representatives in Congress.

So much for that idea.

The most attended single performance of a play ever in world theater.

Madison Square Garden as you've never seen it before.

Sure, the photo is poor but that's because it is a shot of a New York Times two-page newspaper fold-out (creases and all) of one spectacular happening. Look carefully and you will see, from left to right, top to bottom, 18,000 New York City public middle and high school students from five boroughs. (Tickets were offered to all on a first-come-first-served basis.)

"And why?", you may ask. To see a special afternoon performance of Harper Lee's Pulitzer Prize winning 1960 book, To Kill A Mockingbird, made into a long running Broadway play by Aaron Sorkin. (That was Wednesday, Feb. 26th, before any Coronavirus lock-down.)

"Watching 'To Kill A Mockingbird' with 18,000 teenagers was one of the most profound theater experiences of my career, " said The Washington Post critic Peter Marks. "This was the first time that the storied sports and entertainment arena had been transformed into a playhouse, for a one-performance-only run of a play."

The production played out on a specially made 90x40 foot stage backed by 105 stagehands and technicians, 18,000 boxes of popcorn and Madison Square Garden itself, made available free by James L. Dolan and The Garden's in-house operations.

To let Peter Marks tell it because I wasn't there: "The kids, black and brown and white faces, in caps and hijabs and school sweats, sat in attentive delegations on all levels of the Garden through the nearly three hours of the play, which stars Ed Harris as Atticus Finch. Many of the students have been reading the novel, so when Harris entered to thunderous applause, you wondered for a moment if they were clapping for the actor of for the towering lawyer from fiction, called on to defend a black man in 1934 Alabama falsely accused of raping a white woman.

"And, wow--the deafening roar near the end when Atticus got Bob Ewell around the neck, poised to pummel him, a cacophonous response at a volume I have never heard in a theater. Their reactions pointed to one uncontestable truth: the kids were listening.

" They were exhorted to strike this reflective posture by Brooklyn-born director Spike Lee took to the stage just before the show (along with New York Mayor Bill de Blasio, his wife and Bartlett Sher director of the play). 'Please listen to the words,' Lee said, as he also offered encouragement to anyone in the crowd considering a life in the arts. 

Mayor de Blasio used the moment to remind the students of their collective political power...
'The only way to change your world is if you decide it is your world to change.'"

The question was then asked of us, "Why not strive to make such showcases annual events in cities across the country? This wasn't just a harnessing of potential young people power, it was a demonstration of theater power."

And being blessed with a wonderful abundance of grand children myself, I have seen and savored the energy and talent they and their other actors and all behind the stage have given to a multitude of plays and performances. I marvel at the positive affect singing, dancing, acting and backstage supporting does for so many young people. And for them to do it so well is a gratifying experience and joy to behold, both on and off stage.

So many thanks go out to those who provide the structure, style. skill and dedication to make this happen for so many young people. Hey! We are building our tomorrow and if you squint just a little, you see it is a good place. Keep on keeping on please.


Blogger note: I have always taken to heart that the world really belongs to the young to mold, change and evolve to become the better world destined to be theirs. We older and presumed wiser had our turn, but sometimes it seems, just don't know when to get out of the way.

A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants... and why not?

Premise for this post: With the coronavirus upon us all, the stock market in free-fall, global warming eating us from the inside out, the ugly, ugly political rhetoric and the total disrespect we are seeing among us, it is way past time for something a little lighter.

Remember the Mary Tyler Moore show?
It made us laugh for the seven years between 1970-'77.  (Look, it wasn't my fault you were born later!)

This scene, called by many as one of the best comedic sitcom moments ever, is of the memorial for a co-worker, Chuckles the Clown who, while dressed as a peanut, was killed by a hungry elephant.

If you have 4 1/2 minutes to feel richer, here is that scene.


"She (Mary Tyler Moore) only wanted to play a great character (Mary Richards) and she did," said The New York Times in her obituary. (She died at 80.) "That character also happened to be single, female, over 30, professional, independent and not particularly obsessed with getting married. Mary had America facing such issues as equal pay, birth control and sexual independence way back in the '70s." She won 4 of her 7 Emmys in that role. And she had the perfect supporting cast filling her newsroom.

From the Better Late than Never Department:

An aboriginal tribe with a cannibalistic background recently reached out with an apology to heirs of a man their ancestors had eaten in the late 1800s. (True.) They also promised that they would remove that recipe from their cookbook. (You do know I just made that last part up right?)

But in the end, what is funny to one very likely is not funny to everyone... one size does not fit all. But it's always worth a try.
HUMOR IQ TEST

Read these short paragraphs from an actual newspaper contest where entrants, age 4 to 15,  were asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handey, a former Saturday Night Live writer of years back and tell me you didn't laugh or smile more than once.

I gaze at the brilliant full moon. The same one, I think to myself, at which Socrates, Aristotle and Plato gazed. Suddenly, I imagine they appear beside me. I tell Socrates about the national debate over one's right to die and wonder at the constancy of the human condition. I tell Plato that I live in the country that has come the closest to Utopia and I show him a copy of the Constitution. I tell Aristotle that we have found many more than the four  basic elements and I show him a periodic table. I get a box of kitchen matches and strike one. They gasp with wonder. We spend the rest of the night lighting farts. (Age 15)

Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. (Age 13)

I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween. (Age 13)

For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out. (Age 6)

I once heard the voice of God. He said "Vroommm." Unless it was just a lawn mower. (Age l1)

If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. (Age 15)

It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the presidents' birthdays, like they do for the queen's. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3rd or December 26th, just for the long weekends. (Age 8)

Answer key: If you laughed or smiled at some of these, you probably passed and are "life-ready." If you didn't, then be an actuary. (Oops, sorry all my actuary friends, I meant be an accountant.)

You know, I want these kids in my world because if you can't see humor, it's a tougher life for you and those you touch.

As the real Jack Handey explains, "Maybe to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind: Basically, it's made up of two separate words, mank and ind. What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind."

Sometimes funny and real are hard to separate.

You are born into your life without choice. But if you are born in India, how you live your life is not yours to determine..

In India, you are born to be Brahmins where those are priests and teachers (Wow, teachers at the top!). Kshatriyas are warriors and rulers, Vaishyas are farmers, traders and merchants,  and Shoudras are labourers (sic).

Even lower than those castes, are the outcasts, the Dalits (called the untouchables) where you are born to clean toilets or sweep streets.  You will note that the Dalits box shown does not even connect to Brama, the Hindu God of creation who some believe originated the cast system.

That is your unchangeable life...where you will remain as long as you are on this earth.

Manusmriti, regarded as the most important and authoritative book on Hindu law dating back to 1,000 years or more before Christ was born, "acknowledges the caste system as a basis of order and regularity of society."

The four castes were then subdivided into about 3,000 castes and 25,000 sub-castes, each based on specific occupations. And the Dalits?

Jamal and friends

You may recall the movie Slum Dog Millionaire which enthralled us all and won the Best Picture Oscar in 2008. It was Jamal Malik, a Dalit/an untouchable, who rose against all of society to win 20 million rupees ($436,000 in U.S. dollars at the time), to the delight of his peers, the downtrodden and movie audiences around the world.

*So now I ask you, isn't this sounding a little uncomfortable, perhaps like how the United States seems to be stratifying, maybe somewhat like this?

• The top 1%, the well off who want for nothing. They wait in no lines, fly anywhere in private aircraft or certainly first class if they are 'the poor rich', do not collect coupons to save $2, see whatever doctors or professionals whenever they need to, own multiple million dollar homes all over the world, borrow incredible amounts of money on their name only, pay modest taxes (if any) for their wealth at a rate lower than almost everyone else and have influence only money can buy.
• The fairly well off are certainly not hurting but close to the top 1% because while lacking just few things, they easily get by with just a servant or two, merely one or two homes and a few more perks.
  
• The middle class live in nice homes with  nice families, friends and lifestyles, have two cars and perhaps a motorcycle or RV with just enough frills to keep them level in the waters of life.
  
• The struggling to keep afloat may work two jobs or have been laid off and/or work for a lesser salary elsewhere, have a modest income with modest savings and perhaps a college loan to pay forever, have insufficient or no health care, clip coupons and stand in line, drive to vacation to see Aunt Milly or the National parks, watch cable television, go out to eat rarely or at McDonalds, play Monopoly and worry about tomorrow.
• The poor and homeless are the most forgotten in every respect. Their resilience is what keeps them going and sometimes that is not enough, there is no upward, bad things happen to them out of their control, no health insurance, food banks to survive, tomorrow is never a good surprise and they are mostly out of mind and out of sight to too many who see them as a nuisance or blight who thankfully do not live near "us."

*I arbitrarily made up the category groupings but, hopefully they convey the thought.

In a New York Times article, Is America on the Way to a Caste System? The evidence of this trend isn't merely anecdotal. The richest 1 % of Americans live nearly 15 years longer than the poorest 1% according to a study in the Journal of American Medical Association (JAMA). And that disparity is increasing.

"It's getting impossible to imagine that we're all in this together because the hard truth is we're not... If this continues unabated, we're done... You can't shred the norms of reciprocity that makes social cohesion possible and expect to have a functioning democracy. It's just not going to work."

Are we becoming something of a caste society? Here's a blog post I wrote three years ago, The Red Velvet Rope of Life, that is as just as true today if not more-so. I just reread it and son-of-a-gun, it's pretty right on... and a little funny.

We are not India but we certainly are not the America we should be. If our country is a sinking ship, the well-off may get the life preservers but we will all still get wet... or worse.  So is it "I made it, I keep it"...aka trickle down or "help those who cannot help themselves, no matter how they may try?" Be careful. What you say may sound more socialistic than you think.

'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

  




"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder," wrote Margaret Wolfe Hungerford in her 1878 book, Molly Bawn. And perhaps no quote has ever been so true. The book produced a song by The Dubliners that tells the strange tale. (See below.)

Now I don't want you to think this banana, duct taped to an art gallery wall, is just a banana. It certainly isn't. It is what we connoisseurs in the art world called BRILLIANT! And if you just 'don't see it,' then begone with you! We art types run deep in appreciation of brilliance and you, my friend, must love a grand 'sofa size' painting of a sunset that you might see at a 'starving artists' exhibition by the side of the road on a nice summer weekend.

The big difference is easily seen in the price one is willing to pay. The 'sofa size' painting of some starving artist might set you back $50 or so. This 'Banana Taped to the Wall' masterpiece called "Comedian" is one exhibit now by the renowned Italian artist, Muarisio Cattelans at ART Basel in Miami Beach for a bargain $120,000! Surprised you uncouth anti-art appreciator?

The artist is also known for his $6 million gold toilet which was sadly stolen from The Blenhiem Palace earlier last year by some thief who really had to go.

Sad ending to the "Comedian," it was eaten by a starving artist thus nixing the sale. True story... but somewhat of a stunt... or, the banana was spoiling. No charges were filed.

"Three studies.. "

But by how art is valued, that isn't much of an exaggeration considering this triptych "Three studies of Isabel Rawsthorne" by Francis Bacon that sold at Sothbey's auction for $17.4 million. It must have been well framed. 

Molly Bawn by  the Dubliners

Oh come all ye late fellows that follows the gun
Beware of night ramblin' by the setting of the sun
Beware of an accident as happened of late
It was Molly Bawn Leary and sad was her fate

She'd been gone to her uncle's when a storm it came on
She drew under a green bush the shower for to shun
With her white apron wrapped around her he took her for a swan
Took aim and alas it was his own Molly Bawn

Oh young Jimmy ran homeward with his gun and his dog
Sayin' uncle, oh uncle, I have shot Molly Bawn
I have killed that fair female, the joy of my life
For I'd always intended that she would be my wife

Oh young Jimmy Ranlon, do not run away
Stay in your own country till your trial it comes on
For you'll never be convicted of the shootin' of a swan

Well the night before Molly's funeral her ghost it did appear
Saying uncle, dearest uncle, let young Jimmy run clear
It being late of an evening when he took me for a swan
Took aim and alas he killed his own Molly Bawn

Now all the girls of this country they seem to be glad
Since the flower of Glen Ardagh, Molly Bawn she lies dead
Get all girls of this country, stand them into a row
Molly Bawn would shine above them like a fountain of snow

 

So now you know "the rest of the story.