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Saturday, April 14, 2012

"You can fool some of the people all of the time... "

... Or, "There is a sucker born every minute." Either way, I guess I fit in both categories because, for the fifth or sixth time in my life, I paid my money to visit a Ripley's Believe it or Not museum... this one in St. Augustine, Florida, the oldest city in the United States. So I could also say,  "You can't teach an old dog new tricks."

I just keep doing what got me here in the first place...  becoming expert in all the things that don't matter, remembering all the stuff that doesn't count, saying "Gee whiz, look at that," at almost everything that is amazing and in general, stumbling through life reasonably content that I can handle myself at any Trivial Pursuit challenge.

Hmm... on second thought, who wouldn't want to know how many legs an elephant has? Obviously, an elephant has four... er, six... I mean eight legs, one trunk and no tail... approximately. Reminds me of an old joke: What is the difference between a saloon and an elephant's fart? One is a bar room and the other is a BARROOM! (I just threw that joke in so you wouldn't feel reading this post is a just waste of time. I like to call it 'value added.')

Then there is the guy from Pennsylvania who managed to eat his way through a 15-lb hamburger  in just 4 hours 39 minutes... believe it or not! Or that guy with a candle growing out of his head, or Robert Wadlow, the tallest person ever, at 8'-11"... or Chandra Bahadur Dangi, just 22 inches short. All I can tell you is that I know who I want on MY basketball team.

But the thing that always gets me is the tunnel optical illusion... you know, the one where the walls and ceiling revolve around you as you walk through on a floor that does not move. If you can keep from feeling you the one being rotated, then you can probably do a better ballet pirouette 'on pointe' than me too.

I guess I have proved my point. Ripley's is just one amazing thing after another... kind of like a good wax museum, right? (And doesn't everyone have their picture taken as the Pope canonizes them... or standing beside Angelina Jolee? )... everyone... anyone?

 OK, I'll just sign my name and be out of here.