Where to find a reason to laugh today: Rule number 1, no clowns... well, maybe just the one below.

 

Editor's precede for perspective: In these somber pandemic and political unrest days, it is hard to find a reason to laugh, and the media pushes it all right in our faces. But thankfully, these are not 'forever days' and the soul must laugh or die a thousand deaths. So keep looking and finding cause. Your life depends on it.

"Laughter is the closest distance between two people." Victor Borge

Ever walk down the street with a smile and nod to the stranger(s) walking toward you? Most smile back... not counting the few who think you are an idiot. However, this is absolutely guaranteed to give at least one person--you--a lighter step. And you can be sure it affects a few more than that.

A lighter heart is a free, non-toxic, over-the-counter drug that is good for almost anything that may ail you. The welcome side-effect is that it is infectious.

Here are a few tips to bring a smile and more to your psyche so you can be on your way to a better day.

'The human race has only one effective weapon, and that is laughter." Mark Twain

Below are/were headlines of  real stories from newspapers (what are newspapers?) around the country. Typically, headlines are written, often at the last minute before deadline, by an editor who reads the story quickly then writes the headline to fit the space allotted. The headline capsules the story in just a few words to pique the reader's interest. And some goofy headlines--I personally know this--were written purposely, to elicit a smile and not get fired:

• Include your children when baking cookies
• Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
• police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
• Drunks get nine months in violin case
• Iraqi head seeks arms
• Is there a ring of debris around Uranus? (personal favorite)
• Would-be women priests appeal to pope
  
• Panda mating fails; veterinarian takes over
• Teacher strikes idle kids
• Clinton wins budget; more lies ahead
• Plane too close to ground, crash probe told
• Miners refuse to work after death
• Juvenile court to try shooting defendant
• Stolen painting found by tree
• Two sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout line
• War dims hope for peace
• If strike isn't settled quickly, it may last a while
• Couple slain; police suspect homicide
• Man struck by lightning faces battery charge
• New study of obesity looks for large test group
• Astronaut takes blame for gas in space
• Kids make nutritious snacks
• Local high school dropouts cut in half
• Typhoon rips through cemetery; hundreds dead

"Seven days without laughter makes one weak." Mort Walker

Then there is the old 'pie in the eye' thing, more popular years ago, that shows comedians Laurel and Hardy setting a world record you won't believe: more than 3,000 pies in the face! That always used to get a laugh, right up there with the banana peel on the sidewalk... today replaced with some home video of a trick going awry with some object smacking into a man's crotch on America's Funniest Videos. I guess today we just demand something more sophisticated. 

"Maturity is the bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything." Kurt Vonnegut

Are we so somber today that monkeys have a richer sense of humor than we do? Primates don't just laugh, they crack jokes.

Koko, a famed gorilla who died a short while back at age 47, knew sign language and had a 2,000 word vocabulary. When she was asked, "what can you think of that's hard? She signed "rock" and "work." Another time, she tied her trainer's shoelaces together and signed "Chase." That's a true story. Ask Wikipedia.

Why do waiters like gorillas better than flies? Have you ever heard a customer complain "Waiter, there's a gorilla in my soup!"

"Perhaps I know best why it is man alone who laughs; he alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter." Friedrich Nietzsche

Obviously Nietzsche didn't know Koko, but his quote is mostly accurate. 

The greatest cause for laughter is when you look in the mirror. It is you. I remember the last time I changed the oil in my car. (Hint: it was also the first time.) I was cleaning and waxing my first car, a '54 Chevy coupe, and thought I'd save myself a few dollars and change the oil. All went incredibly well until I leaned over the front of the engine to pour the in new oil and noticed that my feet were starting to slip out from under me.

Seems like I missed step no. 3: Be sure to put the cap back onto the oil reservoir before refilling.

And that is the closest I ever came to car repair.

"Comedy is defiant. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale." Will Durst

Chuckles the Clown of the old Mary Tyler Moore show was eulogized at his death by Mary who remembered his favorite line: "A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer in your pants." It is the epitome of how laughter and crying are spun from the same emotion. You can decide here if it makes you smile or cry. Or, I'm betting, laughing out loud.

"If you want to make others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." Dalai Lama

I'm a Cubs fan (why are you laughing, I haven't got to the punch line yet) but I couldn't exclude this little story for a laugh: 

A Chicago first grade teacher admits to her class that she is a die-hard Cubs fan. She asks her class if they are Cub fans too. Most, perhaps not really knowing what being a Cub fan is but wanting to please their teacher, raise their hands. All, that is, except one young lady in the back row.

"Then what are you?" the teacher asks. 

"I'm a Chicago White Sox fan," the girl says.

The teacher, taken aback, because that's how Cub fans are, asks why she is a White Sox fan.

"My dad and mom are White Sox fans and I am too."

 "Well, if your mom was a moron and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?"

"Then," says the girl, "I'd be a Cub fan."

"Laughter is a gift from God which requires a different kind of thank you note." Me

How important is laughter? It's important enough that most television comedy sitcoms have laugh tracks. I thought this was demeaning to the viewer so I started to blog about that. It was then, I discovered, it really does have a place. And here's why

"Laughter is like a windshield wiper. It doesn't stop the rain but it allows us to keep going" Somebody smart.

True confession: I've been blogging for about 12 years now and have posted more than 800 times, so many that I sometimes actually forget what I've written. Some of this post is repurposed. To see all I've written about, check the links that run beside my blog and have a look. I often make myself laugh but how about you, out of sympathy perhaps. 

A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants... and why not?

Premise for this post: With the coronavirus upon us all, the stock market in free-fall, global warming eating us from the inside out, the ugly, ugly political rhetoric and the total disrespect we are seeing among us, it is way past time for something a little lighter.

Remember the Mary Tyler Moore show?
It made us laugh for the seven years between 1970-'77.  (Look, it wasn't my fault you were born later!)

This scene, called by many as one of the best comedic sitcom moments ever, is of the memorial for a co-worker, Chuckles the Clown who, while dressed as a peanut, was killed by a hungry elephant.

If you have 4 1/2 minutes to feel richer, here is that scene.


"She (Mary Tyler Moore) only wanted to play a great character (Mary Richards) and she did," said The New York Times in her obituary. (She died at 80.) "That character also happened to be single, female, over 30, professional, independent and not particularly obsessed with getting married. Mary had America facing such issues as equal pay, birth control and sexual independence way back in the '70s." She won 4 of her 7 Emmys in that role. And she had the perfect supporting cast filling her newsroom.

From the Better Late than Never Department:

An aboriginal tribe with a cannibalistic background recently reached out with an apology to heirs of a man their ancestors had eaten in the late 1800s. (True.) They also promised that they would remove that recipe from their cookbook. (You do know I just made that last part up right?)

But in the end, what is funny to one very likely is not funny to everyone... one size does not fit all. But it's always worth a try.
HUMOR IQ TEST

Read these short paragraphs from an actual newspaper contest where entrants, age 4 to 15,  were asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handey, a former Saturday Night Live writer of years back and tell me you didn't laugh or smile more than once.

I gaze at the brilliant full moon. The same one, I think to myself, at which Socrates, Aristotle and Plato gazed. Suddenly, I imagine they appear beside me. I tell Socrates about the national debate over one's right to die and wonder at the constancy of the human condition. I tell Plato that I live in the country that has come the closest to Utopia and I show him a copy of the Constitution. I tell Aristotle that we have found many more than the four  basic elements and I show him a periodic table. I get a box of kitchen matches and strike one. They gasp with wonder. We spend the rest of the night lighting farts. (Age 15)

Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. (Age 13)

I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween. (Age 13)

For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out. (Age 6)

I once heard the voice of God. He said "Vroommm." Unless it was just a lawn mower. (Age l1)

If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. (Age 15)

It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the presidents' birthdays, like they do for the queen's. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3rd or December 26th, just for the long weekends. (Age 8)

Answer key: If you laughed or smiled at some of these, you probably passed and are "life-ready." If you didn't, then be an actuary. (Oops, sorry all my actuary friends, I meant be an accountant.)

You know, I want these kids in my world because if you can't see humor, it's a tougher life for you and those you touch.

As the real Jack Handey explains, "Maybe to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind: Basically, it's made up of two separate words, mank and ind. What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind."

Sometimes funny and real are hard to separate.