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Wednesday, January 27, 2016

NO THIS IS NO REPEAT EVEN THOUGH THIS WAS THE PHOTO I USED IN MY LAST BLOG POST: That little synovial cyst I told you about Monday was no laughling matter, as it turned our.

It (the cyct) had the extra added attraction of an neural bleed that kind of messed things up. The Doctor, A West Point grad who spent lots of time at Ft. Bragg helping paratrooper's back issues, said this was on of the biggest he has seen... and who better to know that?

So I'm home now bragging about the cure and cussing the pain but (so far) I have lived and had the greatest of care.

It scared me really, the sciatic pain I suffered led to a muscle weakness on my outer right thigh which could have become permanent if untreated. And I love to run with my dogs.

So I got into the hospital immediately and after my morning appointment with Dr. Daniel Williams. "Surgery tonight," he said,  this after his full day in the office. The thought of someone messing with my spine in a way that could alter my life scared me.

The pain though, is from the surgery, not the pain that caused it... and what a relief.

The best part, after the good news, of course, it that while I was waiting for the surgery, I was given a "little shot to help take the edge off." next instant, I was waking up among those who did the job talking about how great it was... and I thought, "was?" How easy was that.

The surgical pain was strong but deed was done. Officially, I can now play the piano. Watch out Jerry Lee Lewis... or Dianna Krall because I still can't raise my leg as high as Jerry Lee can... and Dianna Krall is better... and prettier... and married a non-blood relative older.

Rehab will get me back to where I was... an avid blogger with at least 35 relatives... er readers who's lives depend on every word I write, or spirit me to the top of my blogging profession like I have just written something so dramatic it made everyone who read it cry. See The Everywheist by Geraldine who had a brain tumors she named Steve... now that's the way to start a blog... and it really is a great blog about her battle with the tumor (which she won) and her travel with the love of her life, Rand. It is worth your time. She has millions of readers. She'll never know I wrote this because who will tell her, but I like her non-the-less.

Now I know two things for sure: This epic battle of mine with a Cyst named Cyd will never do better that a brain tumor named Steve, but a guy's got to start somewhere... maybe next time with a toe named Timmy (which is a cute name for a toe that was bruised 6 months ago and has almost grown out to where I can cut it off. I'll certainly miss Timmy but hey, whatdayagonadoo. You can't stop progress. (Backstory: Timmy will eventually became the next Steve ToeJobs who invented the Itoe Shoe Watch Computer Phone which will be manufactured in Italy where they will actually work with a toe. Only one drawback I can think of, it's a toe, for God sake... but a toe with six years of battery life!) See, there is always something that can be made of anything.

Monday, January 25, 2016

You'll never see me more naked than this (thank God) but painful as all get-out.

But here I am. And that's a synovial cyst arising from my right L4-5 facet joint. That big sucker has got to come out.

So right now I am all prepped and ready to go. With luck and your prayers, I'll be home maybe tomorrow, but time will tell.

Something that tiny (but big by synovial cyst standards) can cause considerable pain across the lower back and down one or both legs. Fortunately, these things are non malignant but can do their damage in other ways.

"So doctor, will I be able to play the piano when I'm all healed?"

"Well yes, of course you will."

"Gee, that's great because I could never play the piano before."

For my first song, something I've composed myself when I was young as Amadeus as a child prodigy. A little ditty called "Bob's Gas Station."

Saturday, January 2, 2016

A few things that just came together to start the new year. Happy 2016 to all! May it be miraculous.

Though you can barely see it in this photo of Earth, that's me... standing on the corner of 38 degrees north latitude, 77 degrees west. I'm the one standing next to Jerry Seinfeld just before he leaves to pick up President Obama (really) for Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. He asked me to go but as you know, a 1963 Corvette Stingray just doesn't have that much leg room. The photo incidentally, was snapped by NASA's Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter as it cleared the moon. It's a little out of focus because someone moved.

Elsewhere in the world, that's Andre the Giant (right) having a beer. Yep, he was a pretty big guy... and a really gentle, nice man. I wrote about him and other big men here. Andre was 7 feet, 4 inches and weighed 540 lbs. 

After a pro wrestling career in which he was always the good guy against every dirty wrestlin' villain while never loosing a match, he played a great role in one of my very favorite movies, The Princess Bride. Sadly, he died young (age 46) as he always knew he would. "The big and the small, they don't live very long."

He retired in seclusion to his farm in Ellerbe, NC where he was beloved and everyone "had his back." I ate once at his favorite restaurant, Little Bo's Steak House in the out-of-the-way backwoods of this small town which GPS couldn't find... but the locals knew.  I had a chance to sit in his special chair, which would have held several more of me. Story is, he could eat and drink any five men under the table and still be as sober as the day he was born. 

Another pretty impressive man died just recently. Meadowlark Lemon (84) was the Clown Prince of  basketball. For 24 years, he toured the world as one of the best for the Harlem Globetrotters. With Lemon and others on the talented team, the Globetrotters won 8,829 games in a row, a streak that was broken by the New Jersey Reds, 100-99. (Backstory: Lemon missed the winning layup in the last seconds and the team was devastated.) While many of their victories were played for laughs, they were an incredibly talented team, once stunning the world with a win over the NBA's powerhouse, the champion Minneapolis Lakers (later the LA Lakers), 61-59.

The Globetrotters entertained millions of fans across the globe on courts from aircraft carriers to desert sands and followers from Pope Pius XII to Nikita Krueshev, they still enthrall us. And, not insignificantly, they are largely credited for integrating the NBA, which would be nowhere today if it weren't for African American talent.

Lemon was also an ordained Christian minister.