Sunday, July 28, 2013

Favorite city: SEATTLE, and why not?

Looks like a birdhouse... or a mailbox, but it isn't. It's a book exchange box and there are many of them in neighborhoods all over Seattle.

This is just one resident's way to share good reads. There are about 15 books in this box adjacent to the sidewalk, inviting anyone to "Take a book/Leave a book."

There are a lot of things I really like about Seattle. This reputedly gray, rainy city sells more sunglasses per capita than any other major U.S. city. It also has the largest percentage of library card holders in the nation (80%) and residents spend double the national average on books every year.

Seattle Public Library
Seattle has the neatest public library (with 26 branches) all tied together by a very handy computer system that makes checking out books and returning them easier than going to the post office. It's library system is the busiest in the nation with a circulation of 24.2 million books, films, magazines, papers, etc. And it's head librarian is the only librarian in the world, perhaps, that has her
own bobble-head doll.
Librarian bobble head doll
 

Seattle is home to some pretty impressive second read book stores with good selections at Goodwill and Value Village too. These stores--some as large as your friendly Walmart--are vigorously shopped by all.

This city recycles EVERYTHING from lawn debris to food leftovers. There are regular garbage and recycle pick-ups and if you are not in recycling compliance (they spot check), you are warned twice... then fined! No plastic bags in stores either.

Seattle has a well run and much used public transportation system with environmentally pure buses that run on schedule. Commuters can check live on-time performance of their bus on line. And all buses have well-used bike racks--Seattle has more people who commute to work on bicycles than any other U.S. city. And it also has an impressive 24-hour ferry system--the largest in the U.S and its #1 tourist attraction.

Got dogs? Lots do in Seattle and they are welcome in more places. Excercise? Seems like almost everyone walks/runs/bikes/hikes/climbs/rows/etc. Lots of people on the streets. Want coffee? Are you kidding me? Seattle, the home of Starbucks, has more places to get a cappuccino or latte than anywhere else. The music culture is here as is the Experience Music Project--the EMP Museum.

Seattle has neighborhoods... really neat neighborhoods, many of which are eclectic in the mix of
houses, ages and styles. And trees of all kinds. It has the largest houseboat population east of the Orient.

Seattle tops the list of America's most educated city--more than half of its 675,000 residents hold a college degree. And it boasts the highest per capita ballet attendance too. Its Columbia City zip code is the most diverse in the nation boasting 59 different languages spoken.

Everything is green and abundant lush landscaping crowds the sidewalks in some areas. Seattle has a wonderful year-round climate for trees, shrubs, plants, grass, etc. Average December/January  temperature is 47/38. July/August averages 76/57. Believe it or not, Chicago, Dallas and Miami get more rain per year than Seattle. Much of the precipitation in Seattle is mist. I was standing outside talking to someone and without realizing it, the ground beneath me was dry but everything else was damp. It could rain all day in Seattle and measure only .10 of an inch while Miami could get a 7 inch dousing in an hour. Go figure.

Seattle has the Pike Place Market, Space Needle, a new waterfront 175 ft high Ferris wheel, an abundance of museums and other great tourist stuff. On a clear day you can see Mt. Rainier, the Cascade and the Olympic mountain ranges and always beautiful water. Seattle residents seem to have a certain elan you don't see elsewhere. Would Bill Gates live there if it wasn't great?

One outstanding Seattle fact: The Seattle Mariners baseball team won 116 games in 2001... tying the Chicago Cubs 1906 team for most wins in a season... and the Cubs did it in fewer games. Hey! Us Cub fans need something to grab on to.

But my favorite reason for loving Seattle is that my daughter lives there.




Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Are you laughing with me... or at me?

Actually, it makes no difference. According to a recent study, being funny makes men more attractive. How am I doing so far?

OK, so you need more.

A rich American-Jewish widow is determined to rise in society. She hires coaches to help her shed her Yiddish accent and coarse ways. Once she feels ready, she registers at a restricted resort, enters the dining room perfectly coifed, wearing a basic black dress with a single string of pearls, and orders a dry martini--which the waiter accidentally spills on her lap.

The woman cries: "Oy vey! ... whatever that means!"

Or, as Jack Handey said in his book Deep Thoughts, "The crow seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw."

He also said:

If you were a pirate, you know what would be the one thing that would really make you mad? Treasure chests with no handles. How the hell are you supposed to carry it?!

Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.

Don't ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like I did once, because the faster you go the later you think you are.


Still not seeing Dr. McDreamy or Brad Pitt after all this? OK, I'll give it one more shot... 

Sorry ladies, I'm happily married.


PS: Thank you, Jack Handey, for being so funny... and to Ruth Wisse who just released her book, No Joke, for the joke.




Thursday, July 4, 2013

WOW... I just saved $1,7820,200 million this month... but I don't feel that much richer

 
Well, call me a tycoon or not, but in the blink of an eye, I saved $17.4 million. Yep, my bid to buy Three Studies of Isabel Rawsthorne, a triptych by artist Francis Bacon at auction by Sotheby's was just a little late. This semi-splendid piece went to some other sharp eyed art patron for that price.

In retrospect, I'm glad. It's a little too "mauvey" for my taste... and if my eyes don't deceive me, I think the artist's brush slipped a few times and he colored outside the lines.

Actually, fine art is in the eye of the beholder, so I guess, I beholden my money this time. Whew! That was a close one.

I also saved $420,000 by not buying Bolt, Europe's fastest pigeon, named after Usain Bolt, the world's fastest man. Racing pigeons do, it seems, bring big bucks. When the seller was notified how much Bolt sold for, he said "I am absolutely gobsmacked."

And if that isn't enough, my wife went clothes shopping this week and, as she brought her packages in from the car, she told me that she had saved $200. I am even more gobsmacked to think that in a week where my total saving was $17,820,200, I still can't find an extra $20 to reload my Starbucks card.

Us rich have it tough.

On another very different matter, congratulations to Texas on its 500th execution. The 'ittsy-bittsy'
downside (not counting the condemned)--now it has to buy more of those big, foam "We're No. 1" fingers.

By the way, only Texas and California record all the last words any of their executed speak. They range from "I'm sorry" to "I'm innocent" with a few "Go Cowboys" thrown in... really.

Sorry... I don't mean to sound coarse of flippant but I just feel execution is a barbaric way to say "Gotcha!" It is much more costly--appeals and all--than any life sentence. It is unfairly and unevenly administered and does send some innocent to their deaths. And as much as we sometimes feel it is emotionally justified in horrendous incidents, it makes no one a better human being.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

The Human Perspective

If the world is represented by 100 people, then...

  • 50 would be male, 50 female
  • 26 would be children, 74 adults of which 8 are 65 or older
  • 23 would have no roof over their heads
  • 13 would have no safe drinking water
  • 15 would be undernourished, 1 would be starving and 23 would be overweight
  • 78 would not have access to a computer, 7 would have a college degree
  • 17 would be unable to read or write
  • 33 would be Christians, 22 Muslims, 14 Hindus, 7 Buddhists, 12 other, 12 no religion
  • 60 would live in Asia, 15 in Africa, 14 in The Americas and 11 in Europe
  • 70 would be non white of which 21 would be Chinese and 17 Indians
  • 32 would breathe polluted air
  • 22 would have no electricity
  • 16 would have no toilets, 19 would have only the crudest of facilities
  • 48 would live on $2 (US) or less per day, 1 of 2 children would live in poverty 
  • 48 wouldn't be able to freely speak or act according to their faith or conscience due to harassment, imprisonment, torture or death
So, in the real world of 7 billion people:

If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes to wear, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of the world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet and some spare change, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million people who will not survive this week.

If you have never experiened the danger of battle, the agony of inprisonment or torture or the horrible pangs of starvation, you are luckier than 500 million people alive and suffering.

If you can read this, you are more fortunate than 1 billion people in the world who cannot read at all.

100% of the people share one planet--no exceptions!

Kinda makes you think, doesn't it? That "Do unto others... " thing takes on little more meaning in real life.

Caveat: These are aggregated statistics from several sources and are accurate to estimate order of magnitude.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

A Letter to My Mom

Blessing no. 16... and counting
The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round... and they still do.

Dear Mom... it doesn't seem so long ago that your first great-grandchild Kate, now 16, was born and you bought her this yellow, plastic toy bus with a lid for a top that lifted off. The bus held a dozen plastic figures of little men and women. Those red, green, yellow, white and blue people were made to snap together holding hands. Some of the figures have been lost over the years but that has never diminished the joy this toy brought... with your love for each of those great-grandchildren.

It's been over a year since you left us... you almost made it to age 99. Nice job mom! You did well in so many ways... not the least of which was picking the best toy ever.

This gem of a bus, with men and women figures representing happy, working people that actually held hands to make a better world, has delighted and entertained every one of your infant grandchildren... and is now ready for great-grandchild number 17 this fall!

So mom, on behalf of Kate and Joe and Claire and Jaci and Luke and Riley and Rio and Jacob and Taylor and Sol and Devin and Rafa and Audrey and Tyler and Harrison and Samantha... and Mr. November to come, thank you so much for this simple yellow bus filled with your love. You were special!

Just thought you'd like to know. Your loving son, Jerry

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Mawidg is a dweam wiffin a dweam.

Carrie & Michael
“Mawidge is a dweam wiffin a dweam. The dweam of wuv wapped wiffin the gweater dweam of everwasting west. Eternity is our fwiend, wemember that, and wuv wiw fowwow you fowever.”

Princess Bride is a classic love story--even if this minister has the wrong couple at the altar. This real one is even sweeter.

I had the joy to watch a beautiful niece and her handsome perfect match wed a week-end ago in 'Cabo' (the way us cool married people say it). It seems as if they were always meant to find each other. Even better, they are terrific people... the kind you want to know.

The beach wedding, with the Sea of Cortez in the background, couldn't have been more ideal. It was simple, touching and beautiful. The surfers didn't seem to mind and the reception on the lawn--with a full Harvest Moon in the sky--was just like in the movies. It leaves a wonderful memory in your heart.

The bride's mom is smiling down.

Lest we forget, this is what it is all about:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, a woman, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Carrie and Michael... blessed happiness forever.



Sunday, May 26, 2013

A True Story with a Moral

la cuckaracha
I'm no Aesop (because he is dead and I'm not) but I love interesting tales with a moral.

When I was about four or five years old, my favorite aunt would babysit my sister and me every once in a while. We loved her to death because she was always so much fun... and spoiled us the way kids love to be spoiled. Aunt Anna Banana as we lovingly called her, had a 78 r.p.m. record (yes, that long ago) with a delightful Spanish song, La Cuckaracha, that always triggered a little dance around the room by all of us. It goes something like this:

La cuckaracha, la cuckaracha
Ya no puede caminar...

Now I learn the English translation:

The cockroach, the cockroach
Now he can't go traveling...

According to Yahoo, "you're thinking: Mexicans are strange. But there's more going on here than meets the eye. "La Cucaracha" is the Spanish equivalent of "Yankee Doodle"--a traditional satirical tune periodically fitted out with new lyrics to meet the needs of the moment. The origins of the song are obscure, but apparently it's pretty old. Some verses... refer to the Moorish wars in Spain, which concluded with the conquest of the Moorish kingdom of Granada by Ferdinand and Isabella in 1492. (Obviously 1492 was a big year for Ferdinand and Isabella on a number of fronts.) Probably the song itself doesn't go back that far, but in an 1818 book, according to one source, the Mexican writer Jose Joaquin Fernandez de Lizardi claimed the song was brought to Mexico from Spain by a captain of marines."

So I wondered why such an ugly, reviled bug, the cockroach, would trigger such inspiration. Well, first, it is a great tune... lively and "dance triggering." And like Yankee Doodle, it's fun to sing.

Well, the lowly, yuckky cockroach has a few very admirable traits.
  • Most cockroaches are not pests... of the more that 4,000 species all over the earth, only about 40 are considered pests... like in your kitchen.
  • The little buggers will eat just about anything and can survive for 6 weeks or more without food... and for weeks without their heads
  • They are tough... they have survived for 350 million years (not counting this past week), through ice ages, floods and meteors, and could be the last remaining survivors if everything else (including us) on earth was wiped out.
  • They like to be touched, even though they haven't quite got that "sex appeal" for everyone. That's why they make good pets. So if you have no room for a dog, this could be your answer.
  • Cockroaches are FAST! They can jump-start in just 8.2 milliseconds after sensing a puff of air, can sprint at 80 centimeters per second on six legs and turn on a dime while in full stride.
  • They can be BIG... some 4 inches long with wingspans of 7 inches, though not in my kitchen, thank goodness.
  • And, perhaps most astonishing, they can be conditioned... like Pavlov's dogs! They actually drool when their antennae sense something savory.
Maybe then, that's why this new discovery shouldn't be so amazing. Cockroaches--which are drawn to sugar for its nutritious glucose--have learned that sugar is used to draw them to poison bait. So they, through evolutionary conditioning, have learned to avoid the very sweetness that is now associated with poison. And that has the cockroach poison makers looking hard for a suitable substitute.

So what's the big deal? I don't know... just thought this was pretty fascinating. I guess I was conditioned to like cockroach lore by Aunt Anna Banana way back when.

THE MORAL: If humans could be smarter than the cockroach, maybe we could learn to like sugar just a little less. Couldn't hurt. Cockroaches have an enviable survival record. That part about living without our heads though... that has to go.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Remember IBM'S Watson, the best darn computer who ever won on Jeopardy?

What ever happened to him/her/it? Is Watson (called he for ease of writing) perhaps just a dejected, down-on-his-luck blue bucket of bolts (or whatever those things are) who has already had his 15 minutes of fame... perhaps now homeless and broke, a helpless oilaholic who holds a sign on the freeway ramp that says "Will compute for data."

Well, not exactly. Watson, with his incredible memory bank and quick-as-a-wink buzzer response, has held a job in the medical field these past few years helping clinicians diagnose ailments... and then, finding financial products for bankers to recommend. He sounds like my Uncle Gus who flitted from job to job too.

Emma Watson
You should know that Watson comes from a good family. His mother board, if I have this straight, is the famous and attractive Emma Watson of Harry Potter fame. That's where he gets his good looks.

And, as age is no barrier in computerdom and all pairings are merged across the internet, his father board is the brilliant Dr. Watson who, many say, is the brains behind Sherlock Holmes. Watson always pushed Holmes to the front because taller men always make a better first impression.
Dr. Watson

With programing like this, you would know that IBM's Watson would find his true calling and be brilliant. He has and he is.  Watson is now a top notch customer service person... you know, like the one who answers when you, angry or frustrated, call 800-what's your beef.  He answers in a voice that sounds like it may come from India (to instill confidence). Watson actually has many dialects and can tell a mean Irish joke as if it was Paddy O'Malley himself... "Two Irishmen and a horse go into a bar, you see..." Indian jokes are not funny.

IBM Watson is patient, understanding and knowledgeable, He knows all the necessary things to fulfill any consumer need. He has but one teensy-weensy flaw... Because he was made for Jeopardy, you must first give Watson the answer and he will respond in the form of a question.

So you call that 800 number and say: "Hello. I first remove the outer shell, being careful to unplug my toaster before I start. Then I unscrew heating element A and check the fuse. If the fuse is broken, I go to my hardware store and buy 1 (one) AA3, toaster-type replaceable fuse, install it in slot c and reassemble. If, when I try my toaster, it blows the circuit that powers my father's iron lung, I will then turn on the auxiliary power source before the iron lung shuts down, then re-install the fuse correctly, switch the power on again, put the toaster back together and I'm set for many more years of satisfying toast."

Watson's first child
And Watson smartly says: How do I fix my x*&%# stupid Burnalot Toaster if it won't make toast?"

So you see, problem solved. Or, as C-3PO would say: "We're doomed."


PS: True story... about Watson, that is.
Just a few boring details left out. And that 
India thing... everyone knows Indian jokes are real killers.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Attention Walmart Shoppers....

... you have made it the number 1 retailer in the world!  Walmart revenues topped $420 billion dollars in 2011... considerably more than number 2.

Almost everyone shops at Walmart at one time or another... and, as candid photos on the web have shown, Walmart shoppers can be... er, different.

Not everyone loves Walmart though. Some say it doesn't sell enough Made in the USA goods... some say it squeezes suppliers for the lowest prices... some say it drives nearby retailers out of business, etc. But most of us shop there once in a while or more because we are a capitalist society... and supply, demand and cost dictates who succeeds and, sometimes, who doesn't.

Walmart succeeds because it continues to serve our needs and desires... and recently, it has pledged to do even more.

In a Walmart flyer in Sunday newspapers recently, the World's largest retailer promised that, "Over the next 10 years, Walmart will spend $50 billion more buying products that are manufactured in the U.S." And while I don't have the numbers to put that into perspective, I do sense it has some significance to it, especially given that currently, most items sold in Walmart stores are not from the U.S.

But the statement on the flyer that made an even bigger impact: "Starting Memorial Day (this year), Walmart will offer a job to any Veteran who has been honorably discharged within the past 12 months. (This, with an asterisk that stated "Veterans must be within 12-months of active duty and meet our standard hiring criteria.)

Whether you are a Walmart shopper or not, no matter how you dress when you shop, this is a tip of the hat to a retail giant that has the power and position to be so bold as to try to do better in a remarkable way.

Many Walmart associates wear blue work vests that have imprinted on the back, "How may I help you?" These are two great ways. Thank you.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

When I win the lottery...

... and odds are, I WILL... I know exactly what I am going to do with my spare change. I'm buying a little place here:


The arrow points to where my new home in the city will be... on one of the upper floors of the 84-story  cute, under construction residential building--the tallest in the Western Hemisphere--on Park Avenue at 56th Street in Manhattan... unless, of course, some current lottery winner, or someone else with a few extra dollars, beats me to the punch.

Yeah, I know. I just barely missed "the big one" this past week. I suppose I would have had a better chance had I bought a ticket. Details, details... who has the time? Lotteries though, are like buses... another will be along in a minute.

Remember though, I said WHEN I win... so it is just a matter of time. My current "to do" list reads:
  1. Buy ticket
  2. Win lottery
  3. Get friends with pick-up trucks to help move in
... and as the Guide to Successful People says, putting it on the list is the surest way to make it happen.

As for affordability, not to worry. An 8,255 square foot penthouse apartment (about the size of two nice bowling alleys, I would think) with 6 bedrooms, 7 full bathrooms and 2 half-baths is only $95 million. And common charges for weeding, mowing the lawn, etc. are only $17,805 a month. There is one extravagance I will allow myself... a wine cellar for my Mogen David and Billy Beer to be chilled at the perfect temperature, for just $378,000... but so vital for an oenophile's palate such as le mien (excuse my French, as they say).

I sure feel sorry for those foolish lottery winners who have no plan, because a buck here, a buck there and it is gone before they know it.

As for winning, it's as easy as 1-2-3. Look, who can't understand a 10-1 chance of winning. Got that? OK, so then go to 100-1... still with me? Then 1,000-1, then 1,000,000-1. So now, see how realistic 175,000,000-1 sounds? Not bad if you look at it that way, right? And it just gets simpler... there are only about 200 million different number combinations.

Psst: Look around. Are you alone? I am going to give you my sure fire secret-- and please, PLEASE, don't tell anyone else: Google "How to win Powerball lotto" and that covert website offers secret formulas. Why no one else has thought of that just amazes me... but, thinking it through, I am a college graduate. Just don't do it the same month I do, promise?

See you in New York, lucky.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Guns vs. Dogs vs. North Carolina

North Carolina is a funny state... nice place to live, for sure. It's busy, industrious and scenic, with lots of great visits within a 300-mile radius--from Washington, DC to Atlanta... the mountains to the ocean--and people are nice too.

But NC, like others, is completely crazy when it comes to some things. Take the proposed laws now working their way through its legislature:

One proposed law (State vs. dogs) would restrict ownership of six dog breeds that are 'deemed aggressive.' Before anyone can have a pit bull, Rottweiler, mastiff, chow or Presa Canario... don't look at me, I never heard of it either, the owner would have to undergo a criminal background check, apply and pay for a special state permit, notify the property insurer and take a four-hour education course prior to adopting, buying or otherwise taking possession of one of these potential killer dogs.

A second proposed law (NRA vs. common sense) would allow students who can legally have guns (meaning almost everyone and anyone--crazy people need not apply) to bring their guns to school. Of course, they would have to lock them in the car where they would be perfectly safe when class is in session. (Note, no self-respecting crook would ever think of looking in a car that might have a gun in it... oops, have I let the cat out of the bag?)

The possible upside--in the sad event of a school situation, everyone could have a gun to shoot at everyone else with a gun. Remember when there were airline hijackings? One comedic proposal was to supply everyone a gun along with a boarding pass... what hijacker would be crazy enough to go against those odds?

 Kinda reminds me of the old Johnny Cash song, Don't take your guns to town--lyrics repeated here because they are fun to sing to:

A young cowboy named Billy Joe grew restless on the farm
A boy filled with wonderlust who really meant no harm
He changed his clothes and shined his boots
And combed his dark hair down
And his mother cried as he walked out

[Chorus]
Don't take your guns to town son
Leave your guns at home Bill
Don't take your guns to town

He laughed and kissed his mom
And said your Billy Joe's a man
I can shoot as quick and straight as anybody can
But I wouldn't shoot without a cause
I'd gun nobody down
But she cried again as he rode away

[Chorus]
Don't take your guns to town son
Leave your guns at home Bill
Don't take your guns to town

He sang a song as on he rode
His guns hung at his hips
He rode into a cattle town
A smile upon his lips
He stopped and walked into a bar
And laid his money down
But his mother's words echoed again

[Chorus]
Don't take your guns to town son
Leave your guns at home Bill
Don't take your guns to town

He drank his first strong liquor then to calm his shaking hand
And tried to tell himself he had become a man
A dusty cowpoke at his side began to laugh him down
And he heard again his mothers words

[Chorus]
Don't take your guns to town son
Leave your guns at home Bill
Don't take your guns to town

Filled with rage then
Billy Joe reached for his gun to draw
But the stranger drew his gun and fired
Before he even saw
As Billy Joe fell to the floor
The crowd all gathered 'round
And wondered at his final words

[Chorus]
Don't take your guns to town son
Leave your guns at home Bill
Don't take your guns to town

Now here is the crazy part: With mandatory background checks for gun purchases rejected flat-out by NC and DC, theoretically anyone can buy a gun (or 30-round clip) at any gun show by proving only two things... that they are breathing and that they have the cash. BUT, that person better not even think about getting a certain kind of dog without a thorough background check, taking a four-hour education course, paying for a special permit and notifying the property insurer because that dog may be dangerous.

Just one more kicker: The given gun logic of the reason mandatory background checks won't work... and impose undue hardship on anyone wanting a gun, is that criminals would never comply... are they dumb or what? If they are criminals, they wouldn't obey the law anyway.

And if that makes sense, then why do we have any laws... since criminals don't pay attention to them anyway?

Meanwhile, pit bull owner, "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in court... " and this goes double if you fail to pick up the poop.

I guess that blows that bumper sticker opportunity:
People don't bite people...  dogs bite people.

Friday, April 19, 2013

And A Child Shall Lead Them


This is a short (1800 words) story for the second leg of the Midnight Fiction writing competition. The given genre is Sci-Fi. The story must include these elements: Olympics and personal trainer. I am now one of 125. The contest had 650 to start. If this story is in the top five against 25 others in my genre, Sci-Fi, then I will compete against 25 for the title. Fingers crossed! --Dedicated to the victims of craziness at this year's Boston Marathon


 Synopsis:

Before the disappearance of the ozone layer, before the first atomic skirmish and before the Age of Chaos, there was a world we knew. Can the New Humankind find a path back to a civilization when time, genetics and life made sense?  



AND A CHILD SHALL LEAD THEM

“Look Addie!” Liam said turning the poster toward her. “They are actually going to revive the competition. I guess they think it is time. They’re calling it The New Olympics, probably because they want to convey new hope. Listen to this… “

CALL FOR ENTRIES

The World Federation hereby announces
THE NEW OLYMPICS

A grand competition, open to
all with skills and talents
to amaze and offer
a token of togetherness
to the new world order
for all humankind.

This is a
PEACEFUL COMPETITION
to promote a coming together
of all people
as ONE WORLD,
at last, united again.



“Do you think that Jacob could… ”

“STOP LIAM! Don’t you believe that Jacob has suffered far too much already? Genetic mutations have blinded him and he has felt our trauma. He is only six and he has… ”

“But he is special, Addie. We’ve talked about that. He has a remarkable tenderness… and compassion… something these catastrophic days have taken from us. The boy has qualities for good that our new world has rarely seen. He is bright and old enough to share… and we are needing to care.”



The Aussies hosted the last ‘old style’ Olympic games before the world went mad. Things were certainly different then. Swimming and track and field… that’s what they did. Certainly, there would be no swimming now since clean water has become too precious to spoil with thick-skinned, scaly bodies that shade us from the merciless sky. And today’s people were not made to run and jump as in past days. Shorter legs to better steady the body on an unstable soil is the new ‘six-pack.’ This ‘Super Olympics’ will be far, far different. Has the world got talent other than hiding and killing? God only knows.

Centuries ago Charles Darwin, an English naturalist, alit from his ship, the Beagle, onto the Islas Galapagos and formulated the most accepted theory of evolution of that time. His book, The Origin of Species, still stands as the definitive text in understanding the adaptation of man and monkey alike in a changing world.

What Darwin could not fathom at the time, nor could anyone until after the change, was how evolution could proceed at such a break-neck pace. If a Galapagos tortoise could live 170 years, how could one adapt faster than at turtle-pace?

That was before the disappearance of the ozone layer, before the first atomic skirmish and before the Age of Chaos when the world held 9 billion souls. That was before the advent of New Humankind. While even the earth beneath our feet quivered and half of its land mass became uninhabitable, there has been but one constant: Man is resilient.

In the mere 500 years since Darwin’s revelation, man is back and there is a new spring in his step. There have been 30 years of peace and man is giddy. It has been a slow movement to this point but the New World sees it as a time to breathe once again.

Jacob was excited to learn that he would participate in the upcoming New Olympics. Of all within Liam and Addie’s realm, Jacob was the one who most carried in him the hope of a different future. He possessed the innocence and qualities that once filled the civilized world before being buried by fear, loss, hate and revenge. That he was blind was of no consequence. He was simply one of millions who had no sight. He blessedly escaped a deaf birth in an age where many children are born without ears.

Jacob had a tenderness that seemed rarer yet.

“But what will I do?” Jacob asked. “What is my skill?”

“Do not worry, Jacob. Grandmother will teach you. She will show you the path. You will spend the months remaining before the contest with Grandmother,” Liam told him. “She will show you.”

“But Grandmother is very old…”

“She is well over 100 years… perhaps the oldest still on earth… and she is rich in her memories and stories passed down from her grandmother. She knows much of the past… much that has been lost in our struggles.”

“But dad, mom… I want to be with you.”

“It is only until the competition. Then we will all be together again. Grandmother is expecting you. We will take you to her tomorrow.”


“Welcome Jacob. “ Grandmother greeted him with a hug. “I have longed for someone wanting to share my stories. I am very happy you are with me. Now it is late. Get ready for bed and I will be in to say good night.”



“Are you ready, Jacob?”

“Yes, Grandmother. Please come tuck me in.”

With a smile, Grandmother settled into her rocker beside Jacob’s bed. “Jacob,” she said, “I am going to tell you a story my grandmother told me… one she learned from her grandmother who learned it from hers. It is called Sleeping Beauty.”

            Once upon a time…

… A few days later, the castle that only a short time before had lain in silence, now rang with the sound of singing, music and happy laughter at the great party given in honour of the Prince and Princess, who were getting married…

… And they lived happily ever after.

“Oh Grandmother… I really liked that story. Is it true?”

“Well, some say it is true in your heart… and that is the best place.”

The next night, Jacob could hardly wait for his story.

“Now I shall tell you the story of a girl named Cinderella,” Grandmother said.

            “Once upon a time… ”

And for many evenings to come, Grandmother told Jacob about a man named Aesop who lived a very long time ago. “He had wonderful stories and I shall tell you all I remember.”

And so it went… every night at bedtime… and sometimes after lunch… and whenever the time seemed right. Grandmother told Jacob many tales.

She told Jacob about the stories of Roald Dahl and C.S. Lewis and Maurice Sendak and Hans Christian Andersen and E.B.White… and all the others her mind and her notes kept fresh to pass along. And Jacob ended every story with a plea: “Tell me more Grandmother. Just one more please.”

Finally, it was the last night before the competition and Jacob had become so rich with Grandmother’s stories that he didn’t want to leave.

“Grandmother, please. I am not ready. All this time and I haven’t learned anything for the contest. Grandmother, I am frightened. What will I do? What shall I say?

“Why Jacob,” said Grandmother, stroking his head that last bedtime, “just tell them a story… and if they like that, tell them another.



The big day of the start of the New Olympics was at hand. Mom and dad had dressed Jacob in new clothes and told him how proud they were that he would be performing at the competition.  Frightened but courageous, Jacob gave them each a hug and was escorted down the long hallway to wait his turn.

The arena, which was filled with more than 100,000 people, was decorated in colorful ribbons and an abundance of flowers and banners with slogans of the new togetherness. People of the world were very anxious to watch and participate in something that had meaning other than war… something where all could cheer and yell for the same good reason. It had been so very long…

After what seemed like hours of festivities… bands playing, girls and boys dancing in rhythm and soldiers from all lands leading a large parade to throw their weapons of death into a large fire pit as a token of a new time, the announcer said, “Let the games begin!”

The multitude stood and roared its approval.

The first competitor was a tall, other world man with clawed hands and very short legs. The crowd cheered as he ran around the track as fast as he could. The people were amazed that such a simple skill could be so overwhelming. Next was a group of 100 blind women and men who demonstrated how they could knit and crochet… a forgotten art in these days… and the crowd approved. It had truly been that long.

The third, the fourth and the fifth and onward showed various forgotten skills as tricks with ropes, lifting very heavy objects, dancing on ones toes and the like. How utterly refreshing! The crowd enjoyed the show and all its pomp and ceremony. But the day was long and the applause began to wane.

Finally, the announcer introduced the day’s last competitor most simply… “Ladies and gentlemen, the child Jacob.”

The tiny figure was lead down the long path to the center of the arena. He was dwarfed by its enormity.  Jacob sat quietly in a simple chair, tailored to his size. Some in the crowd yawned as others rose to leave. A blind child offered no promise. A murmur ran through the impatient mass. That was quite enough excitement for the day.

The announcer sternly rebuked them. “STOP! Listen to this last contestant.” And being used to taking orders from others, the crowd stopped and sat.

When all was quiet and dusk was near, a microphone was adjusted to Jacob’s small stature and he began to speak in his soft, child’s voice.

“Once upon a time… ”


Jacob told story after story since no one told him to stop. There was no applause. There was no rise to leave. There was nothing… except listening, which makes no noise at all.

When Jacob was finally done, no one moved. No one spoke. No one applauded. Everyone just sat.

They sat and cried. They sat and hugged. They sat and remembered what their world was like at some time very long ago… a time of reflection… a time of love… a time of anything other than war. A wonderful time. A wonderful time.



Somewhere, at Eden Hospital in a large city, a child was born to a blind mother and a father with scaled skin and short, stocky legs. The child had ears. The child saw. The child’s skin was smooth and soft. The child was free of every genetic symbol of the world of today and reminiscent of what came before. The child carried the promise for all humankind that life is good and love is forever important… and living can begin again.

The child cried and stretched its tiny arms to be wanted.


“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.” Dr. Seuss

Thursday, April 11, 2013

128 and counting

In my last post, The milk of human kindness,  (scroll down one post and you will see it),  I received 128 comments (honest--count 'em) saying things like "great post... keep up the good work... check out my blog, xxxyyy.com, etc."

ALL of the 128 automatically generated responses had the same reference to a specific web site redirection... something about Viagra, whatever that is. 

It is as if a robot is responding to me with intelligence, guile and wit. Yes, I am offended... unless, of course, it is a very attractive robot who I turn on by my charm and suaveness. Then that, my friends, is a different story.

So maybe, I am a big star of a robot responder Ajax 2398*&% (or whatever). He/she/it/thing must secretly love me. Non human species have always been attracted to me. So, as the National Rifle Assn. says, you will never pry me away from her cold dead hands... or something like that.

So, Ajax 2398*&%,  call me.








Wednesday, March 27, 2013

The Milk of Human Kindness

A few years ago, I posted nine of The 10 Things in the World That Amaze Me Most... and to be fancy, I used Roman numerals. Well guess what? I forgot Roman numeral X. Here's that list again, refreshed... and I'm proud of it because it makes a great case for the quality of life : 

I: The Pacific Ocean, II: Big Numbers, III: The Young, IV: Laughter, V: Nature, VI: The Power of One, VII: The Natural Laws of Physics, VIII: Us Humans, IX: The Heavens...

And finally, Roman numeral X: The Milk of Human Kindness...

 ...arguably the greatest human virtue, as in "...  love your neighbor as yourself." Kinda 'Golden Rule-ish' love.

In a world that seems increasingly filled with war, hate, revenge, anger, rancor and discontent... with acrimony, distrust and despair, we must remind ourselves that there is a light beyond our evening news.

Name your favorite movie... did you say Sleepless in Seattle, Princess Bride or When Harry Met Sally? Love as a theme is popular because that's where we choose to live.

Words of love can never convey the spirit of love that comes from the heart... but we keep trying. These are just a few of those:

"My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness."
-- The Dalai Lama

"The flower of kindness will grow. Maybe not now, but it will some day.
And in kind that kindness will flow, for kindness grows in this way."
-- Robert Alan

"Seek not good from without: seek it within yourselves, or you will never find it."
-- Epictetus (2nd century)

"Happy were men if they but understood
There is no safety but in doing good"
-- John Fountain.

"Be the change you want to see in the world."
-- Mohandas Gandhi.

"Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity."
--Buddha

"Life’s most urgent question is: What are you doing for others?"
--Martin Luther King, Jr

"How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a weary world."
--William Shakespeare

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."
--Mark Twain

"Don’t spend your precious time asking 'Why isn’t the world a better place?' It will only be time wasted. The question to ask is 'How can I make it better?' To that there is an answer."
--Leo F. Buscaglia

"Take away love and our earth is a tomb."
--Robert Browning

"Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight: always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary?"  --Sir James M. Barrie

"Either men will learn to live like brothers, or they will will die like beasts."
--Max Lerner

So many gods, so many creeds,
So many paths that wind and wind,
While just the art of being kind
Is all the sad world needs.
--Ella Wheeler Wilcox

"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted."
--Aesop

"Where there is great love, there are always miracles."
--Willa Cather

"Live for something. Do good, and leave behind you a monument of virtue that the storm of time can never destroy.Write your name in kindness, love, and mercy, on the hearts of thousands you come in contact with year by year; you will never be forgotten.
No, your name, your deeds, will be as legible on the hearts you leave behind as the stars on the brow of evening. Good deeds will shine as the stars of heaven."
--Thomas Chalmers

""You will find, as you look back upon your life, that the moments when you really lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love."
--Henry Drummond

"Go out into the world today and love the people you meet. Let your presence light new light in the hearts of people." --Mother Teresa

"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear."
--Martin Luther King Jr.

"Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves."
--James M. Barrie

OK... do you get it? Love is BIG! The Golden Rule is BIG!

So, for the grand finale: (I am not trying to send a religious message, though if you interpret is as such, that's fine by me... but while this verse is seen as secular, it is so commonly accepted on its face for its sentiment.

Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. When I was a child, I used to speak as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

I lost a friend today...

Actually, he was my friend, but I don't think I was his at the end. He was 94.

I knew him fairly well for 35 years as a friend, then years after as his ex-friend because of a misunderstanding that did not lead to a discussed resolution. He was someone I closely worked with for most of those first 35. He was one of the guys that you would have seen in the movie, Saving Private Ryan. He was a combat infantryman in World War II... one of the guys who could say he walked his way through Italy... and it was not a vacation. He was one of those guys.

He fought every step of the way in what was called The Italian Campaign. It was no small thing. It is estimated that between September 1943 and April 1945, some 60,000 Allied and 50,000 German soldiers died in Italy.

He talked little about "The War," but one story he did tell: His platoon was being fired upon by the enemy from a farmhouse. In the encounter, the Americans stormed the house and my friend was the first to burst in, expecting enemy fire. Apparently the enemy had escaped out the back but he didn't know that. Hearing noise in the cellar, he assumed it was the enemy. He threw a hand grenade down the steps... and, as it turns out, it was an elderly couple, probably the farm owners, hiding in fear.

He would become quite angry when there was critical post war talk from a newsman or congressman... or anyone...  about soldier atrocities, saying unless you were there, no one could ever know or judge the life or death circumstances that led to any incident.

He once told a reporter: "Ambivalence about civilian deaths during war is resolved while peering down the sight of a rifle, heart pounding, finger tightening on the trigger. No one who has not lived through combat can judge that moment."  He fought in five major campaigns in Europe during World War II and grappled with memories of death and carnage. He riled about criticism and the morality of soldiers in war from anyone who has never been in that position.


My friend grew up in The Great Depression of 1932-33 watching his parents struggle, as so very many did. He was a young man when Pearl Harbor was attacked and he became one of the many who fought the ground war in Italy and France and wherever else the horror of war sent him. These events marked many for the rest of their lives.

Today we recognize post traumatic stress disorder as a very real syndrome that is estimated to affect as many as one of three veterans. Whether my friend was one of those, I do not know. but for someone who has never experienced what that was like, there is no possible understanding other than, how could one go through so much, see so much, live in such circumstances and conditions and not be, in some way be impacted?

Today the media is recognizing the 10th anniversary of our war in  Iraq. There was NPR talk on the historical value of that war... or any war. One commentator said that, in his opinion, so many died in vain. But another... much, much wiser, countered... no American military person has ever died in vain if they fought for our country. No soldier ever chose the battle, they just did what their country needed at that time... and so many gave the ultimate sacrifice in doing so. And an even greater number of wounded and survivors lived with the memories... and the consequences.

They are all heroes... all of them. As was my friend. 

Thank you friend, for the opportunity to know and respect you. I was honored.         

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Please leave a message...



Like A Puppet on a String

… Please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. BEEEEP…

Look, you told me to call so I know you’re there… I just don’t know where THERE is… this phone number is new to me. Where are you?

So don’t pick up! Maybe you’ll listen to me this way since you haven’t listened to me yet.

We’ve talked about this. Don’t be a blockhead… just listen.

Show business is a hard, compromising life. Nothing is real. Sure, you’re good now but they’ll string you out. That old song and dance wears thin. You are floating on air one-day and swallowed up the next. They’ll say you’re one of a kind… the best... anything to make a buck at your expense. They don’t give a damn about you… you’re just their meal ticket. They’ll suck the sap out of you, I promise.

Those so-called friends of yours… don’t they have a home? That’s a bad bunch you’re hanging out with… bad influences, all of them. The world isn’t your own private carnival. And that con man you call the big boss… he’ll make a jackass out of you, ears to tail.

You smelled of smoke when I last saw you… SMOKE.  Don’t you know cigars will kill you? I knew you were drinking too… I saw it in your eyes… heard it in your voice. Sometimes I think you’re dumber than a stack of sticks.

You are adrift now… and soon you’ll be swallowed up by a monstrous ego; overwhelmed in the belly of the beast you call the real world. Is that what you want? I can’t believe you would say yes.

You wouldn’t say yes, would you?

Are you listening to me? Pick up if you’re there… or not.

And don’t be sticking your nose in everyone else’s business. That nosey thing of yours will bring you nothing but trouble. These people don’t care about you… but we do. I’m your best friend. We are family.

The path you are on will NEVER set you free. It will never make you real. I’ll promise you one thing for sure… if you don’t change your ways, you can kiss your maker goodbye.

You are so naïve…  greener than a limb from that fruit tree in your own back yard. Look… I don’t want to be your conscience. I want to be your friend… no strings attached.

We’re worried sick about you… waiting for you to sand away those rough edges of your life and get on with it. We pray you’ll find your way home. We’re going crazy looking everywhere for you, but we really don’t have a clue.

So a little help please. Give us a hint… where are you? It hurts to know you’re awash on stormy seas and totally sucked in. Talk to us… if you can.

FOR GOD’S SAKE, PICK UP THE PHONE…

Geppetto, Figaro and Cleo miss you terribly…  and I do too. I remember the first time we met:

“Did you say your name was Jiminy Cricket?” you asked. “I didn’t know crickets could talk.”

And up to then, Pinoch, I didn’t know puppets could either.

It’s time to get real Pinocchio. We love you. We miss you. Come home.

CLICK