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Thursday, October 22, 2009

Spontaneous combustion and other weird stuff

Spontaneous combustion, parts 1 and 2:

1) In Jordan "a flock of sheep burst into flames and virtually disappeared in front of their startled shepherd," reports The Week magazine. Geologists explained that the sheep were apparently saturated with methane from a nearby sewage plant and were ignited by a spark. Oh, that explains everything.

"There is no need to panic," the frightened Jordanians were told. .. unless, of course, you are a sheep.

2) 'Entertainer' Amy Winehouse checked herself into a London clinic because she feared her new, $50,000 breasts might explode. "I need to see someone. My boobs are f---ing killing me."

Other weird stuff, 3 thru 6:

3) Ozzie Osborn just passed his driving test... after 18 prior failures.

4) In Gaza, the owner of a petting zoo painted stripes on his donkeys and told delighted children they were zebras.

5) Most popular Halloween costume this year? The Bernie Madoff mask . Wear it and toss hundreds of fake dollar bills all over the place. What ever happened to Snow White and Batman?

6) Finally, The Week magazine posted this contest to its readers: With some environmentalists campaigning against super-soft toilet paper because its extra-cushy fibers come from old-growth trees, we asked you to predict the name of the most environmentally friendly TP possible.

The winning name: I Can't Believe It's Not Sandpaper!

1 comment:

  1. You need to get a hand held Bathroom Bidet Sprayer and then you won't ever have to worry about using the nice soft toilet paper because you won't need much. With these you can even use a towel to just dry off (yes your own personal towel for those with no imagination). I think Dr. Oz on Oprah said it best: "if you had pee or poop on your hand, you wouldn't wipe it off with paper, would you? You'd wash it off" It makes cleaning the toilet itself a breeze also. For those of us who really like to be clean it is the best invention since the toilet. Available at http://www.bathroomsprayers.com

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