"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, step right up, STEP RIGHT UP! Everyone's a winner! Bargains galore... "

So you think carnivals are so... out these days. 

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

As #Darwin showed, we have evolved!

Today's carnival is now something we call television and it gets our attention just fine, thank you. The "tease," as the Carnival Barker would say (i.e. the sales pitch) is the program you are watching. And you, dear tv watcher, would be called a "mark" (i.e. patsy) or a "lugen" (really dumb mark) or even a less flattering, "mooch" or "chump" (too embarrassing to define).

So "Mark," ever wonder how many commercials you sit through, time after repeated time, as a simple nuisance for enjoying (?) your favorite show. You wouldn't believe it.

I was watching Good Morning America a few days ago and for fun (and disappointment at myself for dumbly watching every commercial I had already seen a dozen times) I decided to count how lucky I was to get "the pitch." The first part of the show, mostly the good stuff, is without major interruptions for a while, lest they exceed my attention span. But if they 'gotcha,' you have to pay the piper.

How many commercials do you think I was lucky enough to see over the last 41 minutes of the program. Maybe 15, 20, 30? How many? I was curious so I counted. But first, a word from our sponsors.................... (yawn).

Here's the actual commercials list, interspaced with bits of the show so it seems like it was one continual fun fest:

• The New York Times
• Verizon
• Lincoln Automobiles
• Papa Johns
• Flonase
• Neutrogenia
• Seresto
• Fabreze
• Boost
• BlueRay
• Stanley Steemer
• Liberty Mutual
• ABC Local Station Promo

interrupted by local news, weather and traffic

• Weather Master (local)
• Toyota Dealership (local)
• Mark Spain Real Estate (local)
• Clegg's Pest Control (local)
• Weather Master (local repeat)
• Hendrick Automotive (local)
• Door Dash/Uber Eats
• Jersey Mikes
• Folgers
• Pampers

station break

• Tractor Supply Company
• Eastern Carolina University
• Honey's Suckle
• Otezla
• Blue Wilderness Pet Food
• Lincoln Financial
• Walmart
• Lane & Associates Dentistry (local)
• Mark Spain Real Estate (local/repeat)
• Who Wants to be a Millionaire 

Interrupted by local news, weather and traffic

• Michael Jordan Auto (local)
• ABC Virtual Food Drive (local)
• Whitney Law Firm (local)
• Food Lion (local)
• Garner Appliances (local)

... And on to the second hour of GMA.

If you were counting, that is 60 commercials from the 18 minute mark of the hour to the 60 minute mark.. a total of 60 commercials in 42 minutes. Pretty impressive, right? And I watched them all.

How many did you guess at first? Bet it wasn't 60. And of course, this pattern repeated in the second hour of the show. And it continues plus/minus through the day. The overnight hours are special as they try to fit in even more because who can stop watching an old 2 hour movie that takes 3 hours of sleep to watch?

This is the greater Raleigh. NC market which is probably average, but If you find that hard to believe, do the count yourself. Didn't realize how smart you were, did you "Mark." Oh, sorry. I thought that was your name.

Now here's a poser: If you are watching cable TV or any other pay to view source, you will always experience rate bloat. As your loyalty continues, your monthly bill as a faithful customer continues to increase, sometimes with little teeny extra charges and sometimes in a big gulp. Consumer Reports says the typical cable customer pays $450 per year in company imposed fees... a 24% surcharge on top of advertised prices.

And the topper is that your cable company will give the best offer to the newest stooge... er customer while you,  loyal watcher, are paying a premium... for what?

Just call us lugens I guess.

If you think money doesn't talk, how many basketball arenas, baseball parks and football stadiums have names like Wrigley Field or Fenway Park anymore. Today they are most often Tropicana Field, Sun Trust Park, Coors Field, etc.