My career in spying: a personal confession and tale of then vs. now

That's me, the brains of the outfit
with the head spier, my sister

It may be hard to believe but these two seemingly innocent youngsters are spies. I should know. That's me and my sister and I think it's about time we came clean. Sure, we look innocent enough but in our youth we ran a spy ring.

This photo, as I recall, was when "the mob" was trying to fit us with cement overshoes and take us 'to sleep with the fishes,' but my sister had to go to the bathroom and couldn't stand still, so the concrete didn't set. The plot was foiled and we lived to spy another day.

Yes, there's a backstory and since the statute of limitations has expired, I can spill the beans.

Telephone (not smart)

It was a time before television, the internet, social media and Pong. Even telephones had a handle which was connected to the phone which was connected to the wall by a short cord. It looked and worked so different that you would't know how to use it if you had to. And it would kill you to know that if you weren't home to answer the phone, there were no message machines and you would never know who called you.

We did have a radio, that was all. We listened to the radio on Saturday mornings and heard "Commander Cody of Space Patrol" and "Let's Pretend" with Smiling Ed McConnell and Froggie, the gremlin. "The Lone Ranger" with his faithful sidekick, Tonto, was on during the week sometime. Comic books we our social media. Yeah, 'the olden days.'

It was a peaceful time when kids played outside from morning to night. There was nothing to keep us in except having to clean the table after we ate or pick up our toys. Yep, our world didn't have a screen or buttons or smart phones. All we had was the sun and moon and about four square block of neighborhood that was our domaine.

In the summer time when school was out and on weekends year round, we lived outside from after breakfast to time for supper. We knew when supper was because mom would open the front door of our house and yell "JERRY! MARILYN! SUPPER!" as loud as she could. And in our neighborhood, every kid who heard the call repeated it so that we were sure to get the message even if we were out of ear-shout. And after supper as it was getting dark, we begged to go outside again and play 'Hide and Seek."

Now about the spy business:

Getting a very large cardboard box was how we got into "the spy business." Mom and dad had to buy a new sink and in those days, it came as a single unit with cabinets and a top that stretched about 8 feet long x 4 feet high and 3 feed wide. After the sink unit was unpackaged, we grabbed the box to build a clubhouse in our tiny backyard. We cut a door and a few windows, found a small table that fit and "viola!", it was a clubhouse. It was the center of our world for a time and it became whatever we chose it to be.

We got 'our gang of the moment' together, me and my sister, Sally and Carol, Dick and Patsy. Then we did what kids will do,,, deciding how we would use our new clubhouse. After we ate all the candy we could and just sat around, we organized clubs, elected officers and did whatever the current club was formed to do.

We had The ABC Club to find everything we could to spell out the alphabet: A is for apple, B is for butterfly, etc.

Then we formed the Good Health Club which included taking our temperature with a stolen thermometer from one of our medicine cabinets and playing doctor (the good kind, not anything bad) and seeing who could run the fastest, jump the highest, etc.

And then we formed the notorious Spy Ring Club where we would spy on anyone who needed spying. Here are our official notes:

As you may have read, The Rules are very specific and demanding, in Roman numerals no less:

I.   You must have a hobby

II.  You have to obey the President and Vice President

III. You must not be a tattle tale.

The officers (we always elected officers by vote and when all the votes came out tied because everyone voted for themselves, we went by age.) That's why Sally was always President, I was always Vice President, Carol was always Treasurer (Important because dues were a nickel or dime if we had it), Marilyn was Secretary (to take notes, of course) and Patsy was head spyer (sic).

We always hid our written notes and findings in a coffee can which we buried so years later whoever found them would have a valued record of our findings.

Our mission was written elsewhere and is no doubt still buried someplace where no one recalls. But someday, like the Dead Sea Scrolls, it will be found and revealed to the masses. I however, being Vice President, determined with The President, how we would operate:

• The head spyer (sic) would hide out where she could see whoever enters or leaves Frasco Brothers Groceries (my grandpa and uncle's store) on the corner and make note of comings and goings. (We knew almost everyone and where they lived).
• It was very important not to be seen so our surveillance was always behind trees or bushes. And if spotted, we had to run away. 
• We would then send another spyer (sic) to determine if he/she had groceries to carry and needed help to get home, which we would supply.
• And if it was a stranger to us, all would follow to determine if they actually lived in our neighborhood or perhaps were just there to rob or kill someone.
• To check for anything that seemed out of place and report it to the President or Vice President, enter it in our log and then go out to run and play as primary school kids do.
• And most important, we charged ourselves to "Please do not get this paper dirty."

After we all got bored, which didn't take long, that club would be forgotten until the next time we needed something important to do and a new club would be formed.

So you got us! Don't bother calling the cops because they can't touch us now. Ha ha.

Author's note: It really was a simpler time to be a kid.