Here's a story to share... a zen story with a good message.

It's a tale by award winning author/artist Jon J. Muth in this book, Zen Shorts, one of his many.

There are three beautifully illustrated stories in the book which was on The New York Times bestseller list for 41 months. This story, A Heavy Load, tells of two traveling monks who come across a young woman carried in a sedan chair. It makes my point.

"The rains had made deep puddles and she couldn't step across without spoiling her silken robes. She stood there, looking very cross and impatient. She was scolding her attendants. They had nowhere to place the packages they held for her, so they couldn't help her across the puddle.

"The younger monk noticed the woman, said nothing, and walked by. The older monk quickly picked her up and put her on his back, transported her across the water, and put her down on the other side. She didn't thank the older monk, she just shoved him out of the way and departed.

"As they continued on their way, the young monk was brooding and preoccupied. After several hours, unable to hold his silence, he spoke out. 'That woman back there was very selfish and rude, but you picked her up on your back and carried her! Then she didn't even thank you!'

"I set the woman down hours ago," the older monk replied. "Why are you still carrying her?"

That's Zen for you... whatever that is.

FYI insert: Zen is essentially a state of being at peace with your own thoughts, and being self-aware of your place in the universe, inconsequential (and simultaneously essential). After all, Buddha is not considered a god but the belief is that he achieved ultimate enlightenment through the process of zen meditation.  www.scienceabe.com >humans >what-is-the-concept-of-zen 

And yes, I work on mindfulness and do yoga but to rate my skill, if this were martial arts, my belt color would be toilet-paper white. But it is a rewarding mentality at any level. More of that here.

So here is the point: In today's world, conflict, angst and anger dominate the news and our lives it seems. That is so stressful, it hurts. Stress is really is not healthy for your body or mind. The most direct way to a better you is simple in definition--don't let things get to you--but so hard in practice and downright impossible, it seems at times. Well, that's why starting small is the only way to go. Even God didn't create the world in a day.

Stress is a one-way street. We carry so much on our shoulders that starts with conflict, angst and anger.

Here's another short story, one I know personally. I grew up living next to my maternal grandparents... Italian immigrants, wonderful people. My grandmother loved to shop, but never a driver, she took a streetcar (yes, it ran on rails) downtown at least once a week. Coming home at dusk one evening, she stepped off the streetcar and was hit by a driver not paying attention. She was hospitalized for a week or more to repair broken bones, but even after those healed, she was never the same. She died about six months later. I don't know what happened to the driver who hit her but it makes no difference. The damage was done.

My mother carried hate and contempt for the individual a long time after. She talked about it even to us kids. It seemed to eat her alive. Then, one day after talking with a friend, she had a revelation. She forgave the driver. She actually told us she forgave him, and from that moment on, my mom was herself again. The tension seemed to leave her body and she could laugh and enjoy life once more. We all saw it and marveled.

That is not an easy thing to do. It may even involve counseling or any other third party to 'turn the switch,' but the lesson learned is worth every effort. Depending on the severity of the issue, the memory of what happened will never leave but your reaction to it is remarkably healthier for you and all who love you.

So she stopped hating. Thank God.

The moral of both stories is that carrying contempt forward affects only one person... the person who carries contempt forward. The despised person has no idea nor does he/she care, one way or another.

One of the core values of zen (or mindfulness) is understanding yourself from a different mental perspective and practicing how you get there. If you click my link above or here  I'll tell you about an interesting, easy read book by ABC newsman Dan Harris called "10 % Happier" that made it simple for me to understand and take my first willing steps even if I wasn't sure I wanted to. What I liked most about this book is that Harris talks of his concerns and some skepticism about meditation/mindfulness up front and takes you through discovery and his proof. It was a really interesting down-to-earth read for people like me... and maybe you.