JOHN JACOB JINGLEHEIMER SMITH: A tribute to Robin Williams and a good laugh

John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith. 

His name is my name too. 

Whenever we go out, 

The people always shout, 

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.

Da da da da da da.

(repeat 1,000 times)

Robin Williams was John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith in his 1995 movie, To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar. Yep, that's the actual title and, as you might guess, it didn't go well. Rotten Tomatoes only gave it 39%... but Robin's fans loved it 71%. Robin always made everything better. His voice and comedy is much needed today... and sadly missing. And so is a good laugh.

Last night my wife and I were texting with several of our kids. And because it somehow fit our silly conversation, I told them I changed my name to John Jacob Jingleheimer Jones thinking that would be funny. My wife reminded me that it wasn't Jones but Smith and, in our stupid funny mood, we both laughed hard and continuing off and on for the next few minutes. Something that simple and not funny out of context just broke us up. That's humor for you... it's a mental disposition to laugh when it's easy.

In those minutes, we were in a different world than the one beset with global warming, a year of 'the plague' and more than a decade of ever-worsening political divide, wider than The Grand Canyon... none of which seemed getting better.

You remember the last time you laughed that way? I didn't.

Humans have five basic senses: sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch. Science now believes there are more subtle senses that most people never perceive. One would have to be a sense of humor to round out the whole body experience. If you can't/don't laugh or smile, you really can't say you've lived.

I know people who just don't seem to know how to laugh, or smile, or be light-hearted or make you laugh or smile once in a while. Bet you do too. My advice: don't be one of them... or get too close to when they go from somber to serious to dead serious, because that's all they have.

Life is short, then you die. Rest easy, God has a sense of humor. Just look at us. Can you imagine a divine creator not laughing out loud at some of the things we do with the free will he/she has given us?

Here's Robin Williams telling a story (a repeat, I know. Sorry) about his friend, Bono, that made me laugh:

Bono was performing a save the earth benefit in Scotland before a crowded house. Bono started slowly clapping his hands and told his audience, "Every time I clap my hands, an elephant dies in Africa!" A man in the back row stood up and hollered, "THEN FOR GOD'S SAKE MAN, STOP CLAPPING YOUR HANDS!"  See? 

A sense of humor represents more 'life in balance' than almost anything else because it comes from the reflection of the world as seen through your eyes. Carry a grudge... seek revenge... harbor hate... see seven shades of gray... fail to appreciate life's delights? Then my friend, I'm sad for you because you only have one crack at it.

Here are a few examples of how funny (and/or stupid and/or ironic or just plain ridiculous) we can be in real life:

• A Nebraska man is in prison for shooting his girlfriend with a pistol. The 22 caliber bullet cut right through her tattoo that read, "Happiness Is A Warm Gun."
• Car-jacking isn't as easy as it seems. When the thief ripped-off the car of a handicapped driver, he didn't know how to use the hand controls. So he got out of the car and handed the wheel-chair bound victim the keys, then stripped off his ski mask and said, "Just kidding."  
• A woman from Arkansas is suing her college for a classroom exercise of 'musical chairs' that went wrong. She claims in her suit that the game was played wrong because the instructor had asked her and two other students to play with only one chair. The resulting game scramble that ensued, she claimed, cost her two broken fingers and forced her into "years" of surgery and physical therapy. She asserted that "everyone knows Musical Chairs should be two chairs for three people." She asks for $75,000.
• In Australia, a man about to board a 14 hour flight to Vienna was stopped by authorities who discovered he had 35 geckos under his clothes, all taped to his skin. Sounds like the kind of guy I get stuck next to on a plane.
• A recent demonstration of 100 people outside Britain's Parliament to protest legislation to curb psychoactive drugs, passed out gas-filled balloons containing nitrous oxide--laughing gas. The demonstration turned funny as the group took hits from their balloons and "erupted in fits of laughter."
• From the 'New Product' department: A Yom Kippur workaround for "fasting" coffee addicts: caffeine suppositories.
• Extensive research by Animal Behaviour Science magazine cautions pet owners that they may be petting their cats all wrong! Felines seem to prefer face-caressing, especially between the eyes and ears, and are negatively aroused by tail-petting, especially at the base.
• The Welsh language is such a severe mutation of the original English spoken in the Middle Ages that it is barely distinguishable from Klingon. In fact, the Welsh government, responding to queries about a possible UFO sighting near Cardiff airport, playfully issued its galaxy-friendly response in Klingon: "jang dvlDa je due luq." And if you wish to say "I cannot understand in Welsh," simply respond "nad oes modd i ddeall Cymraeg."
• In Arkansas, a man representing himself on a disorderly conduct charge was found guilty. So he took down his pants and mooned the judge. Not one to take a joke, the judge added 5 months for each cheek.

Live life to your principles... WITH GUSTO!  What that does for the soul... that is something that amazes me most.  

Elsie had it right: (with thanks to Fred Ebb and John Kander who created the song and Lisa Minelli who made it come alive in Cabaret.)

What good is  sitting alone in your room?

Come hear the music play.

Life is a Cabaret, old chum,

Come to the Cabaret.

Put down the kniting,

The book and the broom.

Time for a holiday.

Life is a Cabaret, old chum,

Come to the Cabaret.

Come taste the wine,

Come hear the band.

Come blow a horn,

Start celebrating;

Right this way,

Your table's waiting.

No use permitting

Some prophet of doom

To wipe every smile away.

Come hear the music play.

Life is a Cabaret, old chum,

Come to the Cabaret!

I used to have a girlfriend

Known as Elsie,

With whom I shared

Four sorid rooms in Chelsea.

She wasn't what you'd call

A blushing flower...

As a matter of fact

She rented by the hour.

The day she died the neighbors

Came to snicker:

Well that's what comes

From too much pills and liquor.

But when I saw her laid out

Like a Queen,

She was the happiest corpse

I'd ever seen.

I think of Elsie to this very day,

I remember how she'd turn to me and say:

What good is sitting alone

In your room?

Come hear the music play.

Life is a Cabaret, old chum,

Come to the Cabaret.

Put down the knitting,

The book and the broom.

Time for a holiday.

Life is a Cabaret, old chum,

Come to the Cabaret.

As for me,

I made my mind up back in  Chelsea,

When I go, I'm going like Elsie.

Start by admitting,

From cradle to tomb

Isn't that long a stay.

Life is a Cabaret, old chum,

Only a Cabaret, old chum,

And I love a Cabaret.

FYI: The ditty, 'John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith' seems to go back to vaudeville days of the early 20th century as comedians of the day used malapropisms and fun-to-sing made-up songs for sure-fire humor.

Huh? The mistaken use of a word in place of a similar-sounding one, often with amusing effect, as in, for example, "dance a flamingo" instead of flamenco. 

"John Jacob etc. etc.' was first noted in print in 1931 when a newspaper reported , "At a Boy Scout gathering at Seneca Lake, Troop 18 , upon entering a mess hall, burst into a rousing chorus of John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith," and it has been a popular refrain that most of us have heard and/or sung at some time in our lives. Many more like songs, of course, have followed. Personally, I recall '100 Bottles of Beer on the wall' but get lost because, since the lyrics change in every verse, I can't remember them.)

Grand Finale (I promise):