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Thursday, July 30, 2009

There are 5,200 medical journals published in the U.S. Today!

They range from “Applied Immunohistochemistry & Molecular Morphogrphy (really) to Gut,” says Melinda Beck, Wall Street Journal’s health reporter, as she muses about their research findings.

 And the reason this is interesting? Because Ms Beck suggests 5,200 is not enough. “I think there should be two more…Duh! for findings that never seemed to be in doubt in the first place, and  Huh? for those whose usefulness remains obscure, at least to lay readers.

 “Duh!’s first issue could include findings such as these:

  •  Toddlers become irritable when prevented from taking naps.
  • Cats make humans do what they want by purring.
  • TV crime dramas inaccurately portray violent crime in America
  • People with high IQs make wise economic decisions.

 Huh?’s first issue could contain these-head scratchers:

  • Men are better than women at hammering in the dark.
  • Young orangutans, gorillas, chimpanzees and bonobos laugh when tickled.
  • Neither alcohol (in him) nor makeup (in her) affect a man’s ability to guess a woman’s age.
  • The more abundant the hair, the greater the tendency to collect belly-button lint.”

 Really, it’s an interesting article in which these studies are held as important… which may or may not be the case. I always thought the greatest mystic doctors hold is that… “We know stuff you don’t.” So how is one going to retain that aura if there aren’t thousands of findings to read about and interesting tidbits to drop in a timely manner?

 “Actually, Mr. Jones, your enormous quantity of belly-button lint is because you are so, er, manly hirsute… be proud, not worried. And by the way, Jones, don’t tickle your orangutan or he may pop you one. And don’t believe everything you see on TV. Now, go home and hammer in the dark, then take two aspirins and call me in the morning. That will be $79 dollars.”

 “Thank you, Doctor... you are so knowing. Just send the bill to my insurance company.”

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