Wednesday, December 9, 2009
It's a miracle! ... and other curious stuff
Texas guards were transporting a wheelchair-bound prisoner serving a life sentence for two stabbings and an aggravated assault. Just to be sure, the poor invalid was also shackled to his chair. Then, miracle of miracles, the man pulled a gun from out from nowhere! He ordered the guards to stop the van and unshackle him. After cuffing the guards together-- miracle number two-- he rose from the wheelchair and WALKED... er, ran away. Said a police spokesperson, "Supposedly, he was paralyzed on his left-hand side. He had been in a wheelchair for something better than a decade. Certainly, that's something we're gonna look at."
Speaking of miracles, SNL's Vatican spokesperson of times past, Father Guido Sarducci, was somewhat disgruntled at the ease of Italians to be elevated to sainthood while America has so few saints. To be considered, he said, a saint must have solid evidence of at least three miracles... and the Italians, he groused, get to count card tricks.
Lacking a miracle, a visually impaired man has sued Sony for not making its video games accessible to the blind. Bummer. (By the way, why DO they have braille instructions on every ATM?)
But then again, to end this post on a miraculous upnote: the BALL has finally been inducted into the National Toy Hall of Fame, at long last. The ball joins the jump-rope and stick (true story) as legends of their time.
Now, if you truly believe, pray for a Pete Rose Hall of Fame miracle. "Pete, see the ball... be the ball."