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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

All the things I can't live without... but just didn't realize it until now!

I love air travel... always have. But I am usually so busy reading or looking out the window that I just don't have time to check the contents of the seat pocket in front of me. Last time I did, I realized some airlines don't have barf bags in there anymore. That puts a lot of pressure on a person, you know.

On this last trip, I decided to look again. And there it was... the current issue of SkyMall... my" FREE COPY--TAKE IT. WE'LL REPLACE IT!" Who can resist? It was literally jam-packed with so many wonderfully-imagined products. A person could look through WalMart for a lifetime and never find these hidden gems, reserved, I believe, for the elite... the beautiful people who actually fly through the air, in the special section of the plane referred to as 'coache,' such as 'moi.'

Opening it to a random page (page 10, actually) I saw something for healthier stress relief that would alleviate stress and tension. Relax away migraines and more, without drugs, with our Head Spa Massager.

Its patented Italian design (those Italians think of everything) incorporates Japanese engineering...  (from the same people that brought you invincible nuclear power plants) but that's not the best part. It is suitable for any age and you can use it anytime, anywhere! (exclamation point is mine, for excitement.) You'd think this would cost a fortune. Not so. I'm ordering 3 or 4 (Christmas is right around the corner... our local department store already has decorations and pre-holiday sales) for the low price of just $49.95 (plus tax, shipping and handling, of course.)

Might also get the Military ZOOM binoculars so I can see the color of an Eagle's eye... from a mile away! (Spoiler alert: blue.)

There were Leonisa body shapers (va-va-voom!) for every body style. I know they work because the illustrations had green arrows around all the body parts that "shape." Prices range from $34.99 to $79.99. That expensive one shapes from knees to chest so you know it's good.

Yes They have other stuff just as great... A golf bag with detachable cover that instantly converts into a fairway cooler for 'you-know-what'; an analyzing "SwimSense" performance monitor... You might not swim like an Olympian but now you can train like one!; a four-foot aged bronze replica of le Tour Eiffell (Eiffel Tower, to the lesser, non-French); a shelving system that holds up to 2,262 CDs, 936 DVDs, 528 VHS tapes, or 465 Disney tapes--in 76" cherry triple (beautiful simulated wood); something that looks like a microwave for shoes that prevents the spread of bacteria, fungus and bad odor; and of course, much, much more.

Are you an aspiring attorney who lacks only passing the bar to defend an axe murderer? Well, don't sweat it. This "Passing the Bar" game is not only fun but educational. it is The perfect gift for law students and lawyers. Now how simple is that?

This is cute. The Bigfoot, Bashful Yeti Tree Sculpture. Imagine the delightful shriek of surprise when the kids see that! It is either that or The Peeing Boy of Brussels Statue and Fountain... nearly four feet tall! You won't be disappointed, I promise.

Go ahead and sleep in late this weekend, your dog has a yard of his own ... with this neat Porch Potty (premium grade)--which looks like a poor man's indoor putting green-- for only $279.99... or, Potty train your cat faster than most people can potty train their kids, just $49.99.

I also want THE LARGEST WORLD MAP MURAL! They say it is a scaled down version but I don't know. What does '1 inch equals 1 inch' mean? Sound rather 'biggish' to me.

Saving the best for last, have you ever had to fly to an important meeting... or someplace where you had to be at your sharpest when you got off your 6 a.m flight? How can you look sharp with so little sleep? The only answer: nap on the plane. The only solution: The SkyRest Travel Pillow. Think of the respect and awe you will gain from your fellow passengers as they take notice: "Look, I'll bet he's a business tycoon resting so he will be sharp for some important life-or-death meeting when he gets off the plane."

You may think this is funny but I just can't live without 'em. You know the old song: "How do you keep em down on the farm after they've seen Paree?"You say you are too young to know that song? Then just shut-up!

1 comment:

  1. Jerry - I want one of the head massagers for my Christmas present this year. If I'm too late, I'll take a Yeti statue.