Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Dumb lawsuits, dumb crooks, dumb games, dumb everything
Darneded if you do, darned if you don't, but really, darned if you mess with Kanye West.
Now I'm not one to feel Weird Al Yankovic is really weird... anyone who can top the Billboard charts with his new comedy album Mandatory Fun (first time that has happened in 50 years) has to be pretty sharp, but then again...
Why would he not wrap his arms around Kanye for supplying wonderful new parody ideas?
Weird Al says, in 2006, Kanye threatened to sue me because I DID parody his song "Gold Digger."
This year he DIDN'T parody anything from Kanye... and Kanye DID sue him for $20 million claiming "severe mental distress" for not being parodied.
All this played out in a Rolling Stone article and The Daily Currant comments:
West claims the omission from Yankovic's album has caused him to "barely find to strength and focus to work on his genius music."
"I just can't comprehend how anyone can parody music album without including the greatest solo artist that's ever lived," West told Rolling Stone magazine.
"Yeezus (Kanye's latest) is the greatest album of all time. To parody Pharell is just foolish. Pharell is a parody of himself. Have you seen his hat? That hat alone is an offense to fashion and I know fashion. I'm the greatest fashion designer of all time."
"Not since Malcolm X has someone been persecuted like this."
As Weird Al's album soars to No. 1 on the Billboard charts, Kanye couldn't help but be Kanye. He tweeted, "If it wasn't for my lawsuit @AlYankovic wouldn't be #1. I turn everything to gold. I even turn water to gold. I am gold."
Shame on you Weird Al, for not using great material. (Or, is Kanye the smart one getting all the press?) Good luck with the lawsuit.
Now about the dumb cattle rustlers: Or how many cows can you fit in a car?
The answer is four... one wedged between the front and back seat, facing forward--presumably helping drive--and three on the folded-down back seat and trunk of the Proton, a Malaysian car about the size of a Honda Civic.
That's what the shifty Australian cattle rustlers used to make their bold get-away. And it worked... except the darned car broke down with all the weight and the rustlers had to run away singing Come a ki yi yippee yippee yi yippee yay, Come a ki yi yippee yippee yay ... likeWoody Guthrie in his Chisholm Trail song.
I guess cattle rustlers today aren't of the same breed as in the Old West. (By the way, all cows ok... but just cant stop talking about their excellent adventure.)
So how about a new Olympic Sport, maybe?
That's the thought in India as Kabaddi has swept the nation selling out stadiums and drawing big T.V. Ratings. Kabaddi is a mix of tag and Greco-Roman wrestling played by two seven-men teams in basketball-like jerseys on a court about tennis-sized.
It's sort-of like dodge ball for grown-ups. Players called raiders attempt to tag opponents and get back to their own side of the court without getting tackled. If they succeed, the tagged players are 'out' and the raider's team gets a point. If the raider gets tackled, then that team gets a point.
What makes it more interesting? The raiders have to hold their breath the whole time they are in enemy territory running around trying to tag the guy with the ball. To show they are not sneaking a breath, they must continually yell "Kabaddi! Kabaddi! Kabaddi!"
Didn't the Japanese have a game kinda like that where they said "Tora! Tora! Tora!"?