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Monday, August 28, 2017

Word of Mouth: Blah, blah, blah.

*Thanks to Norman Rockwell

Word of mouth takes many forms... with gossip being the most ugly, not counting lies, and pithy quotes the most interesting, not counting good news.

"So," I'd say to Alex Trebek, "I'll take quotes, for $1,000 please." (See, a pithy quote.)

I love quotes because noted sayings can often bring reflection, common sense, perspective and whimsy... sometimes doing all of these at once. I also note this person Anonymous is oft quoted.
He/she must  be very wise. Oh, as you may guess, I like the funny ones best.

Here are some favorites:

  • "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." --Unknown
  • "Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped." --Groucho Marx
  • "In 1932, lame duck President Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White Hose that he dressed up as Eleanor Roosevelt. When FDR discovered the hoax in 1936, the two men decided to stay together for the sake of the children." --Johnny Carson
  • "I'd rather be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother." --Charles Pierce
  • "The only time a woman succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby." --Natalie Wood
  • "I'm no different than anybbody else with two arms, two legs and forty-two hundred hits." --Pete Rose
  • "You know it's not a good wax museum when there are wicks coming out of peoples' heads." --Rick Reynolds
  • "There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting." --George Carlin
  • "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." --Albert Einstein
  • "Roses are red, Violets are bluish, If it weren't for Christmas, We'd all be Jewish." --Benny Hill
  • "The old neighborhood has changed. Hurley Brothers Funeral Home is now called Death 'n' Things." --Elmore Leonard
OK, time for a coffee break, but be back here in 10 minutes. Ready for another format?

Always remember, you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.Margaret Mead

We are all here on earth to help others; what the others are here for I don't know. W.H. Auden

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. Mark Twain

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. Isaac Asimov

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schitzophrenic and so am I. Oscar Levant

I never said most of the things I said. Yogi Berra

Go to heaven for the climate, go to hell for the company. Mark Twain

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Steve Martin

Al Franken AKA Jack Handy
Let's finish with Jack Handy because he's worth it:
  • To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
  • Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
  • I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
PS: There really is a Jack Handy who writes these. 

See, I told you they were fun. 

Last, this serious quote is a Lutheran blessing that resonates beyond prayer, no matter your belief: "May the Lord give you the grace never to sell yourself short, the grace to risk something for something good, the grace to remember the world is much too dangerous for anything but truth and much too small for anything but love. And now may God take your minds and think through them. May God take your lips and speak through them and may God take your hearts and set them on fire. Amen."

*Norman Rockwell was the one of the most admired illustrators who is best known for his 47 years of covers for the now defunct (1967) Saturday Evening Post weekly magazine. His many illustrations can be enjoyed if you Google his name.

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