Number one and number two (Means what you think.)

Re: number one: Ryanair, a European budget airline, in an effort to boost revenue in a way no one would notice, will be charging passengers $1.60 each time they use the plane's bathroom... (for number one and/or number two, I presume). And to create buyers' demand, it will only have one bathroom on each plane. The other two have been converted into extra seating. (Hmmm. I wonder if they were reconfigured or did they just screw down the lid and attach a seat belt?) Ryanair CEO Michael O'Leary, noting average flight time is only about an hour, says "What the hell do we need three toilets for?"

Re: number two: A Texas man called the police on his neighbor because, he told officers, the neighbor used the S-word for excrement in front of his innnocent (italics mine) 13-year-old daughter. The neighbor has been complaining regularly about the caller's cat which leaves feces all over his yard and the caller refuses to do anything about it. The neighbor admitted he used the S-word for cat excrement out of frustration. He was cited for disorderly conduct but, in a jury trial no less, was acquitted.

Said the cat-owning complaitant, "A little piece of America died today. It's a sad day for morality." (This man must be a saint... with a holy cat that calls the neighbor's yard a litter church.)