It's really NUTS out there... 2011 version

An Ohio sixth grader was given detention for farting on the school bus. That'll make him think twice next time he tries something like that.

An art show that featured "a painting that hasn't been painted yet," an "invisible sculpture," and "a movie shot with no film in the camera" won the clever artist a $2,338 British government grant.

Elsewhere in Britain, another artist, asked to decorate the Christmas tree at England's Tate Gallery, earned his commission by leaving the tree bare. Pretty hard to top mother nature, eh? 

I guess the minimalist movement is alive and well in the UK.

The election of officers for the American Postal Workers Union was delayed... because many of the members' ballots were lost in the mail. D'oh!

The city of Coumbus, OH bought 18 new stretchers for its paramedics, each capable of toting 650-pound patients. Sadly, they are not sturdy enough for all needs. So it had to pay 10-grand for ones that can handle 1,000-pounders. Next will come the need to hire more paramedics just to carry those stretchers.

A recent poll found that one out of four Americans don't know that we won our independence from Great Britain. Among other popular choices: France, China and Mexico. So far, no mention of another planet.

Speaking of another planets... or more correctly, our nearest star... its status may soon be changing. Angeles Duran of Spain has notarized documents--ahh, the power of a notary--attesting that she is now the official "owner of the sun... (legal description follows in small print)"... and plans to charge a "reasonable fee" for use of the sun's rays. Says Duran, or perhaps we should start referring to her as God Jr., the proceeds will be split between the Spanish government, the world's poor and herself. "Anyone could have done it" she says. "It simply occurred to me first." Well, so much for that free tan.

Disturbingly, the number of clowns in America has increased 230 percent in the last 10 years, according to the WCA (World Clown Association.) Asks America: "Is that all?"

Now, to end on a bright note, we have found the answer to "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?" It was the chicken, of course. Scientists have determined that a protein found in the chicken's ovary is necessary for the formation of the egg. I wonder where they got the protein necessary for the formation of the chicken?... but what do I know... I'm not a scientist. Next scientific question: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Happy New Year!