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Friday, January 28, 2011

The people in Toronto are so weird...

... Police there report that 10 percent of the city's 9-1-1 calls are "butt-dialed." Emergency vehicles respond to 300 "butt-dialed" calls per day (yes, per day!) to people who accidentally sit on their phones.

Shuuure they do.

The real story, I suspect, is that Canadian winters are so severe, fat tends to build-up on the body in undesired places when confined in front of the fireplace most days just to keep warm. And Canadians, when a real emergencies arise, don't trust shaky, frozen fingers to do their walking for them... they use their most dependable method to call 9-1-1. "

Plop on the phone honey, and just stay calm... help is on the way!

Better start practicing "the plop," Boston... after this winter, you're next!

And that's not all that's weird. In the world of infidelity:

Pakistan does it a little different. A man was beaten in public by two of his three wives. The reason: they were certain he had a secret fourth wife... and was planning to marry a fifth. In many parts of the world, it's one wife at a time... except in Utah.

A Texas woman is suing her boss, a TV evangelist. The woman, thinking that she was working in a Christian environment, was crestfallen when her special reverend boss confessed he was cheating on his wife. The woman's suit claims that affair is causing her "severe mental anguish." Think of how 'the little woman' must feel.

Now, if that didn't fill you up, A little more humor to brighten these cold winter days:

According to Conan, "Egypt is now in its second day of angry street protests, and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is calling for calm. Yeah. Because nothing calms an enraged Arab country like a powerful woman ordering it around."

The wise Jimmy Kimmel noted "It took the president an hour to sum up the state of the whole union, and American Idol needs two hours to find the next Danny Gokey? I don't think so."

It was reported North Korean glorious leader, Kim Jong Il, tried golf for the first time recently. Though 69-years-old and reportedly quite ill, he seemed to take to the game. Playing at Pyongyang's par-72 golf club, he shot a 38, aided somewhat by his 11 holes-in-one. And yes, you skeptical ones, he had witnesses. All 17 of his body guards attested to being enthralled as they watched the greatest round of golf EVER! That son-of-gun! doesn't he realize that all he has to do to win the hearts of the American people is come over here and win 20-25 PGA events (including all four majors) in a row. He would have us all in the palm of his hand. If we can forgive Tiger, everyone else is just a 'chip shot.' As we say in America after every one of Tiger's shots: "IT'S IN THE HOLE!"

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