... so I haven't blogged in two weeks. Hey! I've been busy. But that's even too long for me to feel good about... so while I'm working on the next post, I got a kick out of this one, which I wrote and posted about a year-and-a-half ago. Enjoy.
Laugh and the world laughs with you...
... or thinks you are some kind of a weirdo. In any case, these actual 1998 newspaper headlines are worth passing along. Why 1998, you might ask? Because that's all I could find. They are, however, timeless:
- Include your children when baking cookies
- Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
- police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
- Drunks get nine months in violin case
- Iraqi head seeks arms
- Is there a ring of debris around Uranus? (personal favorite)
- Would-be women priests appeal to pope
- Panda mating fails; veterinarian takes over
- Teacher strikes idle kids
- Clinton wins budget; more lies ahead
- Plane too close to ground, crash probe told
- Miners refuse to work after death
- Juvenile court to try shooting defendant
- Stolen painting found by tree
- Two sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout line
- War dims hope for peace
- If strike isn't settled quickly, it may last a while
- Couple slain; police suspect homicide
- Man struck by lightning faces battery charge
- New study of obesity looks for large test group
- Astronaut takes blame for gas in space
- Kids make nutritious snacks
- Local high school dropouts cut in half
- Typhoon rips through cemetery; hundreds dead
A screenwriter comes home to his burned down house. His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is standing outside. "My God. What happened, honey?" he asks.
"Oh Jerry, it was terrible," she weeps. "I was cooking. The phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the phone, I didn't notice the stove was on fire. The house went up in a second. Everything is gone! I nearly didn't make it out of the house. Poor Fluffy is..."
"Wait. Wait!" the man says. "Back up a minute. My agent called?"