Follow by Email

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Absolute proof... there is a God

In South Carolina, one couple saw the face of Jesus on their Walmart receipt. Oh, they didn't see it right away or they would have been whooping it up, but after returning from church. They noticed the receipt had become discolored and bore the image of a man with a beard that was... well, I'll let them tell it so I don't mess up on the technical details: "It was like it was looking at me. Then the more you look at it, the more it looked like Jesus, and it was just shocking, breathtaking."

Add this to God on toast and grilled cheese sandwiches (popular favorites of Jesus when he was a child), God in clouds, Jesus-shaped potatoes, etc... and we're not even talking Blessed Virgin Mary here. Privately, I often wondered how toast knew what God looked like, but I guess if you are God, you have your ways.

Y'know, I often just breeze right by those who prophesy the rapture or the apocalypse.. but when word comes directly from the world's largest retailer, it stops me cold. Walmart even matches prices now... another sign?

This has me thinking about Hell. Purgatory was the safety net (you know... you just suffer a little--maybe with crazy acne and nothing to eat but chocolate or suffer allergies and ragweed is always in season-- until you have done penance for all your sins... maybe for one trillion-billion years, but since eternity has no time constraints, that might just seem like a few minutes, THEN you get 'invited up'). But since The Pope has officially eliminated Purgatory, that has a lot of us worried.

Worse yet, there is new proof of how hot Hell (which is deep in the core of the earth, right?) really is. A Japanese study suggests that radioactive decay added to primordial heat, which has been building for 4.5 billion years, generates 44 trillion watts of power. (Remember what it did to Godzilla?)

You talk about hot! In profound conclusion, Woe is us!

No comments:

Post a Comment