Here's what I think about that:

Thinking... thinking... thinking. Hmm: 

 I think records are made to be broken... but come on now! A recent scientific study seemed to show the speed of light--186,000 miles per second-- a physical absolute proven in 1905 by Albert E (=mc2) Einstein, is a wrong! Like the four-minute-mile, Lou Gehrig's consecutive game streak or Wilt Chamberlain's 100-point game, some records seem made to stand, forever out of reach... until proven they aren't.

Well, take that Einstein... the speed of light record is no more... or is it? Tests did show an atom-like particle called a neutrino was a few feet per second faster than what was believed to be the physical speed limit. Was Einstein disgraced? Absolutely not! When the test figures were checked, it seems the geniuses who thought they were smarter than Einstein had forgotten to carry the 2 in their addition of data. So the winner and still champ is... ta dah... Albert "the incredible" Einstein. Nice goin' Al.

I also think...

... that slavery is a terrible scar on mankind. But when a group seeking to free the whales at Sea World filed suit on the whale's behalf, claiming constitutional protection against slavery, a mean-spirited judge said the 13th amendment applies only to humans. (Can Sea World be so bad when it has a playground for children called Shamu’s Happy Harbor?)

Still thinking...

I think that it is incredible that we have finally reached Lake Vostok, a never-before seen freshwater lake that lies 2.2 miles below the glacial surface of Antarctica. This treasure is expected to provide many clues about long ago life on earth. I think it is even more incredible that it took a the scientists 10 years of continual drilling to reach the lake. Sounds exactly like my dentist when I was a kid.

And...

I think is is amazing that a Masai warrior with a smartphone on Google has access to more information than the president of the United States did just 15 years ago. What does that tell us about Bill Clinton?

 
But then...

I think the Florida senate is crazy. By a 37-1 margin, it voted to legalize no-hands bike riding. Don't they realize how dangerous that could be? (Oh, hey... I get it now.)




 And finally...

I think congratulations are in order to us, the world. We are making real progress in better ways to kill more people. The pros at Sandia National Laboratories in New Mexico have invented a bullet that directs itself to a target like a tiny guided missile. While flying through the air, it can make as many as 30 corrections a second to kill someone more than a mile away. Now that's progress!