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Friday, May 4, 2012

Buy low, sell high... or is it the other way around? I always get this confused.

I bought a bass boat once because I thought I liked to fish. I found that I did... only just 'sort of. ' So I decided to sell.

A few years back, when I wanted a bass boat so bad I could just 'taste it,' I drove a hard bargain. The guy wanted $4500 for this gem... said it was worth every penny and a lot more. "Hasn't sunk once," was his big claim.

I, smiling knowingly, countered: "Ever fish around icebergs?"

He, unsmiling, started to walk slowly back to his car, and said... nothing.

I, playing cool as always and looking quite un-anxious as I ran after him waving my arms in the air, said, in a high-pitched voice breaking with emotion, "I'll give you $4400 and not a penny more."

He turned to me and, crossing his arms across his chest, which I know is a sign of faked confidence, said, "$4495."

After wiping away the tear running down my cheek, I stilled my beating heart and reacted calmly to show him that I had won this battle. "I'll take it... please."

(Note to reader: Always be polite. I learned that early-on from a cartoon series called 'Goofus and Gallant' in my Boy's Life Magazine.

A few weeks ago, I thought... "pay-back time" as I posted my little-used bass boat on Craig's list for just $3000--depreciation, you know. I couldn't adopt his old ploy. My bass boat had actually sunk... twice.. with no loss of life I'm happy to report. And no, I was not fishing among icebergs! No more questions.

Very soon, my first 'fish  ; -)' came knocking... and I s-l-o-w-l-y started 'reeling him in.'

"Hmm... " he said eying my boat as he walked around it while scratching his chin. "Ever sink?"

"Been in the water ever since I bought it," I truthfully said.

"Hmm... " he said some more.

Well, I won't bore you with details of the intense interaction and class 'A' salesmanship I threw at him. Needless to say, he was comfortably in the palm of my hand. (He later confessed to me that I had him at Titanic.) This, subsequently, brought about my second happiest boating moment... I sold it on the spot. Best $2000 (every sucker needs a break) I ever earned.

This entire shrewdness on my part, not counting a repair here or there or here or there or here or there, netted me enough to easily pay for all my worms. And what true fisherman wouldn't be happy to figure it only cost about $500 per pound per fish?

OK. Truth is, I had to sell... I just couldn't afford to catch more fish.

So what am I going to do with my windfall? Well, I did see this sculpture I might buy. Memo to self: Be cool. Act like you don't want it... then POUNCE! (It's called 'Walking Man' by some guy... Alberto Giacometti.) Rumor has it that it recently sold for $104.3 million... but I think I can get it from that guy (who is probably suffering from buyer's remorse) for a lot less than that. It just might fill the hole in my heart from the loss of my bass boat.

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