Curious George, eat your heart out.

If you have children and/or grandchildren, you know Curious George, the little monkey from Africa that lives with his friend, the man in the yellow hat. You have to wonder, though, if George could have done better. 

Florida police were looking for a shoplifter who was described as wearing a yellow shirt, yellow trousers and a yellow tie. He allegedly stole a dozen yellow Scotch eggs, yellow jellies, yellow mustard, yellow cheese, three pair of yellow socks and two pair of yellow underpants. His favorite color? Blue would be a bad guess. 

In New York, a woman shoplifter took $300 worth of razor blades and hemorrhoid medication. Why would she do something like this? I don't care and I certainly don't want to know.

Last winter, two New Jersey guys hijacked a truck filled with toilet seats and bed pans. Hope they get the opposite of the electric chair--'the cold seat.' (Get it?)

And while we are on the subject, don't rule out the person who shot his brother for using six of his eight rolls of toilet paper in two days. Don't ask.

Think I made these up? I'm not that imaginative.