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Saturday, November 8, 2008

Dog Whisperer philosophy and a bad joke

Cesar Millan is The Dog Whisperer and his show on the National Geo channel is always worth a watch... especially if you are a 'dog person.' A few years back, in the pages of National Geographic magazine, Cesar capsuled his dog control philosophy. 

"If you don't tell a dog what to do, it will tell you what to do...a dog is first an animal, then a dog, then a breed, and the its name.

"Unconditional love isn't enough to control a dog.  Dogs don't follow an emotional leader. They follow the dominant leader.  We are the only species that follow an unstable leader."

Some of the more powerful leaders don't... or can't control their dogs. "When you see the President of the United States coming out of Air Force One, you always see the dog  in front. When you see the President going inside the White House, you see the dog going inside first."

Well, the Obama kids are getting a dog. If the President-Elect is like most of us dog lovers, who do you think will be the first out of the plane? "Hold the door for me Fido, I'm right behind you."

 I guess there is that one thing our species has... emotion. Unless training dogs is you life, emotion seems to be a more open door to human actions other than control of the pet that licks your face. (And where has that tongue been?) 

Dog joke: Guy takes his 'talking dog' into a bar. Bartender says, "Mister, if that dog can talk, I'll give you free beers all night."

"Bowser, what covers the outside of a tree?"

"Bark! Bark!"

Bartender says "You have to do better than that."

"Bowser, what is on top of a house?

"Roof! Roof!"

"Last chance," the bartender warns.

Sweating, the guy asks: "Bowser, who is the greatest baseball player of all times? Babe who?"

"Roof! Roof!"

As the guy and his dog pick themselves up from the pavement outside the bar, the dog, puzzled, looks at his master and asks, "I should have said DiMaggio?"

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