Best excuses I heard so far

Picture this: It's about 3 am. You are asleep in bed with your wife--just the two of you. Then you feel someone cuddling you from behind. As you awake, you see our wife in front of you, fast asleep. It's not her. What would you do? Well, our man jumped up, grabbed his handgun and turned on the light. He was astounded to see a young woman he had never seen before. She said, "Steve told me to come here and wait for him."

Elsewhere, a woman accused of stealing $70,000 from her church, allegedly told detectives, "Satan had a big part in the theft."

Both perfectly understandable. It really is nuts out there.