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Monday, March 16, 2009

Found: An easy way to make $1,000,000.00

With the advent of spring comes the NCAA basketball pairings... and with them, the easiest and most obvious way to make $1 million and more for a mere dollar. Duh! Where have you been all this time?

The odds against winning the NCAA tournament have been posted. North Carolina is 4:1 (boring). Illinois is 60:1. Butler is 125:1. So a dollar bet in Vegas brings some pretty good return potential. However, unless you are a piker, don't go for the chump change. Look further down the list.

Cornell is 1 million:1. A mere one dollar bet returns $1 million when Cornell triumphs. But Bill Gates still won't speak to you.

Try Robert Morris at 500 million:1. Hmmm. You wouldn't even make the Forbes 500 list at that.

Morgan State is 1 billion:1. Receive a personal call from Warren Buffett.

Cal State Northridge is 500 billion:1. Just think. A $500 billion payoff for $1 when Cal State Northridge wins it all. You could play liar's poker, loose 400 billion times in a row and still be able to put food on the table.

If your dollar is on Alabama State or Morehead State, both at 1 trillion:1, you personally could pay off China's investment in the United States and tell them to get lost. For this, they would put a statue of you (on a horse, of course) on the White House lawn. For me, that's too much bird crap.

East Tennessee State at 1 septillion:1 would be nice. The US budget hasn't yet hit still needs a few more bonus payouts by AIG to make that number.

But for me, my dollar is on Chattanooga because: 1) I like the sound and spelling of Chattanooga; 2) I like the payout at 1 googolplex (the largest possible uncapable-to-define number to the 10th power):1 .

Now we are talking richest man in the galaxy. All the Chattanooga players have to do is protect the ball, take good shots, keep everyone else from scoring more points than they do, make their free throws and don't loose their cool. And remember: defense, defense, defense. Sounds like a lock to me. I think I'll take the payout in 10s and 20s since most places don't have change for a googol.

Give me a "C!" Give me an "H!" Give me... aw, you know.

1 comment:

  1. For ten per cent,my cousin Paulie, from New Jersey, will help you collect from the bookie who will without question try to welsh on a googolplex payoff. ;)